👁️ 5 things to do in London this weekend with the kids (6–7 July)

Hey there, fellow DiLF!

Because I have a tendency towards neediness (verging on desperate), it troubles me that my relationship with you is completely one-directional: you’re getting access to the strange inner workings of my brain via these event listings, but all I know about you is your email address. 

I’d love to know more about the people who read this newsletter, so please do email me back to say hi and tell me about yourself. I’m sure it’ll help me write better newsletters each week, and it’ll be nice to get better acquainted with the people behind such email addresses as “not.my.real.email.you.loser” (touché, I guess?) and “ilovechocolate1983” (although at least with you, Mr Chocolate Lover, I can already guess your precise age and what you enjoy consuming). 

So if you get a moment, email me! I promise to reply to you within a socially acceptable timeframe. 

Thanks!

Jeff xx

1: Test (and trick) all 20 of your senses 

Family Fun Day: Taste, touch, feel at the Royal Institution
Saturday 6 July, 11:00–16:00
21 Albemarle Street, W1S 4BS
Adults £17.06; children 16 and under £10.85

We all know about the famous five senses: sight, hearing, taste, touch, and smell. Then of course there’s that weird, supernatural sixth one – the one where you have a gut feeling that you won’t enjoy the company team-building day, and you turn out to be right. 

Well, in news you can share while trying not to topple a lifesize Jenga tower, it seems we might all have up to twenty senses in total. And this Family Fun Day at the Royal Institution aims to both test and trick many of them. 

There’ll be optical illusions, wordplay, deceptive jelly beans and other experiments and demonstrations. All activities and demos will be repeated throughout the day, so you don’t have to worry about showing up at a particular time. 

Find out more: https://www.rigb.org/whats-on/family-fun-day-taste-touch-feel 

While you’re there… 

👍️ On my “Paperclip to Porsche” scale of how much things cost, a sundae from The Parlour at Fortnum & Mason sits somewhere in the middle. So if you think your kids deserve a better treat than the squashed cheese string in your back pocket, go there. The ice creams are insane, the environment is fabulous, and everyone will be in heaven. Until the bill arrives. 

👍️ Want somewhere a bit cheaper but just as gustatorally (not necessarily a real word) satisfying? Try Kahve Dunyasi. It’s a Turkish cafe on Piccadilly with some of the best ice creams and cakes my family has ever tasted. As a bonus, the owners there will think your children are delightful – even if they’re objectively horrendous. 

👍️ St James’s Park has the best park playground in all of central London. We’ve argued about this before, and you know I’m right. 

👍️ The Summer Science Exhibition at the Royal Society (see below) is just over half a mile away, so you could bash out two sciencey things in one day and feel like a Superdad. 

2: Attend a summer science exhibition, for fun

Summer Science Exhibition 2024 at the Royal Society
Saturday and Sunday, 10:00–18:00 (it’s also open 3–5 July)
6–9 Carlton House Terrace, SW1Y 5AG
FREE

No, you’re not a GCSE student anymore. Yes, it’s the weekend. No, your children do not want to go to this thing that sounds just like school. Yes, they’re threatening legal emancipation from you. No, this isn’t your idea of fun either. 

Please just stay here for one more minute and I’ll give you my elevator pitch. 

Try out a personal brain scanner! Hear real ice core samples from Antarctica! Dance beside a newborn baby (on a screen) and see who’s better! Learn about alien planets! Create your own battery! Make your own rice cakes with a rice-popping machine! Meet Florence Nightingale (kind of)! Build your own kaleidoscope! Make a positive pledge on a leaf and hang it on the tree! Ignore that one because holy crap does that sound boring! Let’s try something else errrrrmmmmm oh yes: do a VR thingammy where you’re shrunk to the size of an atom! Phew: rescued it. 

You’re tempted now, aren’t you? 

Find out more: https://royalsociety.org/science-events-and-lectures/summer-science-exhibition/ 

While you’re there… 

👍️ You’re about half a mile away from all the ideas mentioned in the event above. So do those!

3: Climb inside colourful chimneys and learn about London

Up In Smoke exhibition at NOW Gallery
Saturday 10:00–17:00 and Sunday 11:00–16:00 (plus other dates until 22 September)
The Gateway Pavilions, Peninsula Square, Greenwich Peninsula, SE10 0SQ
FREE (but you’ll need to reserve a spot online)

Until about ten minutes ago, the only time I ever thought about chimneys was at Christmas – when our family’s lack of a soot spout made for interesting conversations with our offspring. Now, though, I’m starting to realise just how important they were to our history. To give just one example, the industrial revolution would have been a bit of a flop without them. 

So, 14 minutes into thinking about chimneys (it took me a full four minutes to come up with “soot spout”), I’ve become a complete chimney fanboy and I’m super keen to take my kids to this new exhibition. It features five colourful chimneys that represent different historical periods – from the 1700s to now – and shows how the Greenwich Peninsula area changed from marshland to a busy cultural spot. The intention is to help us learn about London’s history in a fun and interesting way. 

The best bit? It’s interactive!! (Meaning: no alarmed ropes, and no one telling you to control your child while they dangle from something old, expensive and fragile.) Visitors can walk through, climb and look inside the chimneys, which – as you’ll see from the pictures – really are gloriously bright and colourful. 

Find out more: https://nowgallery.co.uk/exhibitions/up-in-smoke 

While you’re there… 

👍️ The Greenwich Peninsula cable car station is a five-minute walk away, so you could either make it part of your journey to the exhibition or take a trip on it before/after. It’s no Tiroler Zugspitzbahn, but you’re not trying to get to Bavaria anyway: you’re trying to get to Greenwich. 

👍️ The o2 has lots of random stuff to do if there’s time to fill. Indoor skydiving would be my pick, but you could also try your hand at trampolining, bowling, shopping, eating or drinking. I’ll admit there’s a chance you’ve tried some of those before. 

4: Enjoy a summer fair in West London

Parsons Green Fair
Saturday 6 July, time TBC
Parsons Green, New King's Road, SW6 4XG
FREE

I wasn’t going to mention this fair: I’ve mentioned a LOT of fairs recently, and this one didn’t seem particularly noteworthy. But I changed my mind for two reasons. The first is that, AFAIK, I haven’t yet listed any fairs taking place in West London. West London is a ballache to get both out of and into, so if you live there, it’s always a good call to stay put as much as possible. With this fair, you get to do just that. 

The second reason is that there’s a petting zoo. And actually I’ve just discovered a third reason: a crepe place called Crepe Royale, which apparently sells a crepe filled with peanut butter and Bonne Maman Four Fruits preserve. If this information turns out to be false, I’ll get Helen Mirren to pop over and give them a piece of my mind. She lives nearby: she won’t mind. 

Find out more: https://www.parsonsgreenfair.org/ 

5: Create, craft and crush at a hands-on making extravaganza

Festival of Stuff at the Institute of Making
Saturday 6 July, 13:00–17:00
UCL Marshgate Building, 7 Sidings Street, E20 2AE
FREE

Jeez: what is it with educational events this weekend? Is someone planning to get rid of all the playgrounds while we’re busy looking at things through microscopes? If I’m genuinely onto something with my conspiracy theory, kudos to the playground-wreckers for coming up with such a fabulous itinerary of distractions. 

The Festival of Stuff is particularly jam-packed with incredible activities: you’ll get to “throw clay on a pottery wheel”, “experiment with casting metal”, “explore the science of squishing”, “delve into the small but mighty world of super-absorbent polymers” and “watch a 14-ton steamroller cruise a bespoke crushing catwalk”. I don’t even know what most of these things mean, but I’m sold. Sorry playgrounds 🤷‍♂️ 

Find out more: https://www.instituteofmaking.org.uk/events/view/festival-of-stuff-saturday-extravaganza-copy 

While you’re there… 

👍️ Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park is probably more its own destination than an add-on, but if you find yourself all squished out early – or if the pottery wheel just didn’t do it for you – at least you’ll have the world’s best backup plan. There are themed gardens galore, incredible playgrounds scattered throughout (special shoutout to Tumbling Bay Playground), Olympic venues to check out, running/walking trails, public art installations and sculptures, beautiful waterways (with canoeing, kayaking and pedalo-ing), and heaps more. 

👍️ Discover Children’s Story Centre has a huge creative play space for children aged 0–11, plus immersive activities for kids that are probably already booked up for this weekend. But if you have an hour or so to kill, the play space alone is worth it – especially if your kids are aged seven or younger. 

Bonus! Be a fender mender (?) on Cutty Sark

RNLI weekend at Cutty Sark
Saturday and Sunday, 11:00–16:00
FREE, but you need tickets to the ship (adults £20, children 4–15 £10; children 0–3 free)

Help the RNLI celebrate its 200th birthday by rescuing someone who’s drowning. 

KIDDING! Although it’s true that this event, held on Cutty Sark, helps you master the skill of throwing rescue lines. You can also participate in timed lifesaving challenges, look at the lifesaving equipment that would have been used on Cutty Sark, and make oars and mend fenders. 

You can also do all the regular Cutty Sark stuff while you’re there: walk the decks, visit the captain’s cabin and crew’s quarters, check out the interactive displays, and – best/worst of all – get weirded out when an actor dressed as a historical figure starts to share stories and experiences. 

Find out more: https://www.rmg.co.uk/whats-on/cutty-sark/rnli-weekend-cutty-sark 

While you’re there… 

👍️ If you’re a professional stone-thrower, you’ll be a stone’s throw away from the other three museums that, along with Cutty Sark, make up Royal Museums Greenwich: Royal Observatory, National Maritime Museum and Queen’s House. If you’re not a professional stone-thrower, you’re best off measuring the distance some other way. Paperclips, perhaps? Cutty Sark to National Maritime Museum is approximately 36,000 paperclips lined end-to-end.