🚇 5 things to do in London this weekend with the kids (3–4 August)

Hello DiLFs, and welcome to another hump day!

Last week I told you that I’ve created a new free download called Close your eyes and point: year-round activities and venues that are always great for kids. 

I was pretty sure fellow DiLFs would find it useful, and it seems I was right! Go me! Here’s what Jenny (who apologised profusely for being female, much to my amusement) had to say after receiving it: 

Want one for yourself? All you have to do is recommend Dads in London to ONE person. That’s it! As soon as that person has signed up to the newsletter, you’ll get the download automatically. 

Thank you hugely for your help in spreading the word about Dads in London! I hope you get as much out of Close your eyes and point as your fellow readers. 

Jeff xx

1: Revel in Shakespearean shenanigans while enjoying a festival vibe 

Much Ado About Nothing at the Big Penny Social Beer Garden
Sunday 4 August, 13:30–15:30
1 Priestley Way, E17 6AL
Adults £16.53, children £12.12, family ticket (2 adults, 2 children) £12.40

With its ridiculous, intertwined love stories, Much Ado About Nothing is the Love, Actually of its day. 

If that movie reference has made Shakespeare even less appealing for a Sunday afternoon, please don’t go: I haven’t finished trying to persuade you yet! You see, this adaptation of the famously chaotic play has “high-energy party numbers and audience participation” too. Woohoo! 

Still not interested? OK how about… 

The performance will take place in the Big Penny Social beer garden, and you’re encouraged to turn up early for lunch (Sunday roasts are available), giving you time to get into the festival spirit. Don’t deny it: I saw that glimmer of excitement pass across your face! You know it sounds ace. 

Find out more: https://bigpennysocial.co.uk/whats-on/east-london-shakespeare-fest 

While you’re there… 

👍️ Sign up for a 30-minute mask-making workshop before the show. It starts at 12:45 and costs £3.98 per person. (I’m beginning to think Big Penny Social is a front for Big Penny – a conglomerate of loose change enthusiasts who want to Bring Back Coinage.) If you’re not too suspicious of the strange pricing, you can add the workshop to your ticket when you book the performance.

👍️ Move from the beer garden to the seaside within the same venue. “Walthamstow-on-Sea” has all the hallmarks of a classic seaside – sand, deckchairs, a dedicated beach bar and “Wish You Were Here” postcards (?!) – except it’s at Big Penny Social, which is about 53 miles from the real seaside. If you ask me, that’s a bonus: all the benefits and none of the travel. Plus no risk of getting eaten by a shark. 

You have to book tickets for a specific two-hour time slot, which cost £4 per person (plus £5 per group if you want a special beach hut to yourself). Hang on… round number pricing at Big Penny Social?  

2: Do the DLR treasure hunt because nothing in the world could be more fun

DLR Treasure Hunt
Saturday and Sunday (and every day until 8 September)
Various London DLR locations, including Tower Gateway, Greenwich, Pontoon Dock, West India Quay and City Airport
FREE (plus travel cosR)

Everyone loves the DLR (more evidence here), and I’m sure that nearly as many people love treasure hunts. Which means this event will have a massive overlap in the Venn diagram of mind-blowingly fun experiences. It’s called the DLR Treasure Hunt, and it’s every bit as amazing as its name suggests. 

As with most things in life these days, it all starts with downloading a bloody app – and that’s the most grandpa-esque thing I’ve ever written. Once you have the treasure hunt app, you’ll follow a special route map and learn about Docklands history and surroundings while answering quiz questions, completing various tasks and scanning codes on the map for individual hidden treasures. 

You can complete the treasure hunt in one day or throughout the summer – it’s up to you. Once you’ve finished, you’ll need to go to the information centre in London City Airport station to collect your medal. 

Find out more: https://londonblog.tfl.gov.uk/2024/06/18/explore-east-london-with-the-dlr/

3: Walk through a garden made of denim

Ian Berry: The Secret Garden
Saturday and Sunday, 10:00–17:00 (and every day until 8 September)
Garden Museum, Lambeth Palace Road, SE1 7LB
Free with entry ticket (adults £15, children 7–18 £8.50, children 6 and under go free; family tickets are also available)

Ian Berry makes art out of recycled denim jeans ​​– and I don’t mean the type of “art” in quotation marks that we all stroke our (imaginary or real) beards at while trying to pretend we understand it. 

With Ian Berry’s work, you won’t see a pair of flares thrown over a vacuum cleaner to represent something random and dubious. Instead, you’ll see many small pieces of denim that are individually selected by shade, then stitched and glued in multiple layers to create portraits, landscapes and scenes from urban living that look like blue-toned paintings. (Check out at these incredible examples!)

For the Garden Museum, he’s done something a bit different ​​– while still sticking to the denim theme. His art has been 3Dified even more than the layered collages, because you’ll experience a denim garden you can actually walk through. You’ll amble along a denim garden path to see “roses, cacti, wisteria, dangling vines and a fish pond” made with layers of recycled jeans.

This urban secret garden does, admittedly, represent something other than “Foliage is nice, isn’t it?” But it doesn’t feel like a cynical afterthought or extremely tenuous connection – and you won’t need to do any facial-hair fondling to make sense of it. 

Quick tip for Ian Berry if he’s reading this (you never know): DUDE! Tiny dark grey text on a black background is NOT a good idea! 

Find out more: https://gardenmuseum.org.uk/exhibitions/ian-berry-the-secret-garden (note: the cafe is normally open until 17:00 at the weekend, but it closes at 14:00 this Saturday)  

While you’re there… 

👍️ Climb the medieval tower at the Garden Museum (included with your entry ticket) for fantastic views over London. 

👍️ The Imperial War Museum down the road has a family drop-in activity every weekend called Story Seekers; check the Family Activities page for more information because the topic/activity changes frequently. They’re also doing a daily activity over the summer called “Who’s Rupert?” which is about the deceptive tactics used by Allies to trick the Germans before the D-Day landings. 

👍️ Just over the river, Victoria Tower Gardens is a charming park that provides fantastic views of both the Houses of Parliament and the Thames. It’s known for “The Burghers of Calais” – a sculpture celebrating freedom by August Rodin. Equally famous is the statue of suffragette Emmeline Parkhurst, which stands in the shadow of Victoria Tower. You’ll also be pleased to know there’s an award-winning playground at one end, which comes with a stream of water you can pump yourself, a sandpit, a shaky bridge, wobbly boat and swings. 

4: Attend a jam-packed summer festival

Playtopia 
Saturday and Sunday, 09:30–16:30
Evolution London, Battersea Park, Chelsea Bridge, SW11 4NJ
Adults £14, children 4–17 £25, children 0–3 £8

In common with so many family-friendly festivals, Playtopia promises “educational fun” in addition to the Nerf gun battles, fun fair rides, rock climbing wall, dodgems, street dance workshops and magic tricks. Does “educational fun” refer to the “Library Corner” that surely no one will bother to enter? Who goes to a festival featuring an inflatable obstacle course and Bluey live shows and heads straight over to read Charlotte’s Web for the afternoon? My tip (while I’m doling them out today) is for the organisers to leave the books in the library and focus on everything else. 

Because how much fun is this festival??? I haven’t even mentioned the nail and hair-braiding salon, soft play and movie screenings. Many of the activities are free, while others require between 1 and 3 “tokens”. When you buy an entry ticket, you’ll get 20 tokens included. 

As for those entry prices… if your child looks particularly grown-up for their age, you might want to try pretending they’re an adult for the purposes of ticket-buying. 

Find out more: https://www.playtopia.org.uk/ 

While you’re there… 

👍️ You’re in Battersea Park, home to a sub-tropical garden, a herb garden, a children’s zoo, a boating lake and some of the best views in London. 

👍️ I’ve never been to Battersea Power Station, but 17,000+ Google reviews with an average 4.5 rating implies I’m missing out. Is it essentially Westfield with an expensive lift? If you’ve been meaning to visit, BPS is a ten-minute walk from Playtopia. 

5: Shrug off your “sold-out Eras” disappointment with a stroll through Swift’s stuff

Taylor Swift | Songbook Trail
Saturday and Sunday,  10:00–17:45, and every day forever (it’s a new permanent exhibition)
V&A, Cromwell Road, SW7 2RL
FREE – no ticket or booking required

I was planning to give this final newsletter slot to a new family trail at the Postal Museum (which looks like a fun summer addition to a venue that’s already heaving with great activities for families). But then I realised that I’d risk some Bad Blood between you and me if I didn’t mention the other, far more famous trail that’s just opened. Enough with the groaning please. 

I’m in favour of Taylor Swift | Songbook Trail because it reacquaints us with the most overlooked key on a standard computer keyboard: the pipe. I’m also a fan of the exhibition because it’s free – even though the V&A could have made a fortune off of it. 

Another reason I like it? Because it forces encourages us to appreciate what else the V&A has to offer, by taking us on a winding journey through the museum’s galleries to explore her costumes, instruments and accessories. There are 13 stops on the trail in total – which, knowing Taylor, is probably a number that represents something relatively important to her and her fans. I’ll leave that for them to figure out while I try to insert more song title wordplay into this newsletter. 

Find out more: https://www.vam.ac.uk/exhibitions/taylor-swift-songbook-trail 

While you’re there… 

👍️ Take inspiration from other Swiftees and make your own festival bracelet at the V&A. (Available 3 August, 11:00–16:00.) Just try not to accidentally Shake It Off on the tube home. I’ll get better at this, I promise. 

👍️ In addition to the ice skating, bowling and Meatliquor burgers on offer at Queens Skate Dine Bowl, there’s also augmented reality darts (?!), curling and an arcade den. I can understand why you’re excited about how much this place has to offer, but seriously: You Need To Calm Down. 

👍️ After something more wholesome? You could always grab a Lime bike and cycle around London’s ninth-most popular route of 2023: the Hyde Park bike path. The experience will be better than anything in your Wildest Dreams.

Fun Audio Experience for the Whole Family

Check-out Popcorn Brainstorm! Jokes & Trivia for Kids, the chart-topping Kids & Family podcast from Netflix. Featuring trivia, games and jokes from your favorite Netflix films and series, Popcorn Brainstorm explores Leo, The Dragon Prince and more!