• Dads in London
  • Posts
  • 🏏 5 things to do in London this weekend with the kids (1–2 June)

🏏 5 things to do in London this weekend with the kids (1–2 June)

Author

Jeff – Dads in London
May 29, 2024

Hey there, fellow DiLFs! 

This newsletter has been going for a few weeks now, which means it’s already more successful than my one and only attempt to keep a cactus alive. Go me! 

I’d love to get a better idea of the sorts of weekend events and activities you're most interested in, so there's a tiny survey at the bottom of this week's email. Please fill it in if you can – it'll only take a sec, and it will help to make this newsletter better and more relevant.

Thank you! 

Jeff xx

Saturday and Sunday, various times
Locations throughout London
Prices vary, but are about ÂŁ20 per ticket 

I’ll rarely spend a fortune on an “experience”: past purchases have indicated that if I don’t ADORE it for the money I spent, I'll get in a foul mood. Then once I’m sufficiently miffed about it, I’ll do financially ineffective things like buy own-brand ketchup for months, in an attempt to claw back the wasted cash in the most self-flagellatory ways possible. Which is why I’ve never been to a Royal Opera House performance: it just isn’t worth the risk when half-decent seats cost about £200 each.

If you're as risk-averse as me when it comes to expensive experiences – if you read Jay Rayner's review of Le Cinq thinking “There but for the grace of god” – you might be interested in a Royal Opera House performance that you can watch at the cinema (for a fraction of the price) instead.  

Message In A Bottle (age classification 12A) is a dance-theatre show “inspired by and set to the iconic hits of 17-time Grammy Award-winning artist Sting, including Every Breath You Take, Roxanne, Walking On The Moon and more”. There’s a “mix of exhilarating dance styles, high-energy footwork and breath-taking athleticism”, and the storyline (which is very much in the style of a jukebox musical, so don’t worry about it too much) “tells a unifying and uplifting story of humanity and hope”. 

Matinees are available at cinemas throughout London, and I’m VERY excited about watching a posh performance wearing tracksuit bottoms and eating snacks that I’ve brought from home. 

Saturday 1 June, 15:00–23:00
Magpie’s Nest Festival, Master Shipwright's Palace, Watergate Street, SE8 3JF
Adults £39; children (2–18) £20; under 2s free

If you’d have asked me in my pre-fatherhood days if I fancied going to a one-day festival called “Magpie’s Nest”, which celebrated “the finest folk and roots music from around the world,” I’d have responded with a minute-long version of “Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA.” Then, while wiping non-existent laughter tears from my eyes, I’d follow up with a line or two about composting parties and friendship bracelets made from pubic hair. 

Now, though, my first thought is: “That sounds like a DELIGHTFUL event for the kids and me to experience together. It’ll be eye-opening and horizon-broadening, and we might just fall in love with a new genre of music.” (All subsequent thoughts relate to logistics, toilet facilities and IPA availability – making it abundantly clear to anyone examining my brain that I have children and my priorities have changed.) 

Where were we? Ah yes: Magpie’s Nest. The festival is held in what sounds like a beautiful, idyllic venue: a former shipbuilding yard that’s been restored into a home and creative space for artists. There are two gardens with performance stages overlooking the Thames, as well as a special “unplugged” stage indoors – and the idea is to wander from stage to stage with the music all around you. 

I haven't heard of any of the musicians in the lineup and you might not know them either. But don't let that worry you: a year ago I'd never heard of padel tennis, yet now I'm obsessed. So… new experiences FTW. 

See you there? I’ll bring some extra lentil and quinoa loaf to share if you provide the kombucha. 

3: Watch a show that will hopefully make more sense when you’re there

Saturday and Sunday, 11:30 and 14:00
Purcell Room at Queen Elizabeth Hall, Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX
Adults and children ÂŁ14 or ÂŁ20 (depending on where you sit) 

I don’t know about you, but I’ll often read about a children’s show and think, “That sounds absolutely lovely.” Then, when telling my kids about it before heading to the venue, I’ll realise I don’t have a frigging clue what any of the words in the description actually mean. 

Grand Soft Day is one of those shows. The website mentions “Splashing in puddles, wind whipping your hair, crunching frost under your feet, and rain dripping on your nose” in a “playful” performance that’s “predominantly non-verbal”. Apparently there’s “physical storytelling”, “colourful wellies”, and the two words that will make me say yes to anything: “live music”. 

I have no inkling what the show is about, but it sounds marvellous and I'm 100% in. (Update: I’ve just found a video of it online. It’s significantly more bonkers than I was imagining. But I’ve still booked and I know the kids will love it.)

While you’re there… 

👍️ On Saturday 1 June only, there’ll be an outdoor dance party on the Southbank Centre’s Riverside Terrace, featuring pop-up performances, dances and workshops inspired by the Mughal era. (I looked up the Mughal era because I’d never heard of it; it’s a period in South Asian history marked by the rule of the Mughal Empire, which lasted from the early 16th century to the mid-19th century. Key features include cultural flourishing, religious tolerance and cultural synthesis, and economic prosperity. So there you go.)

👍️ I think I've been banned from Draughts board game cafe: I once threw a tantrum there over my opponent refusing to eliminate Guess Who? characters because they were bald. For everyone who’s still allowed to attend, 1) please put in a good word for me, and 2) enjoy the thousands of games on offer. 

Quick interruption (it'll only take a sec)

If you're enjoying the Dads in London newsletter and think others would like it too, please do forward it to a friend or four!

Saturday 1 June, 13:00 and 15:00
Woolwich Works, The Fireworks Factory, 11 No 1 Street, Royal Arsenal, SE18 6HD
Adults ÂŁ12; children ÂŁ10; babes in arms free

Compared to the one above, this event makes much more sense to my easily befuddled brain. It’s about a queen who’s all right as queens go, but lacking in the manners department. One day she gets a bit peckish and chilly, so asks the forest elf for some food and a warm cloak. Problem is, she doesn’t know how to ask nicely. 

Once she learns The Magic Word, “she discovers the beauty of sharing and the joys of true friendship”. The moral of the story is more ”knock you over the head” than “blink and you’ll miss it”, I grant you. Unless, of course, The Magic Word turns out to be “absquatulate”, or “batrachomyomachy”, or any of the other words I just looked up for the first time. If that’s the case, kudos for the plot twist! 

One word of warning: you might want to go elsewhere for food/drinks. After falling into a vortex of online reviews, two things became clear: the in-house cafe meals and snacks vary between substandard and abysmal (depending on the reviewer), and the servers could do with learning a Magic Word or two themselves. The area surrounding Woolwich Works has lots of alternative places to eat. 

While you’re there…

👍️ Maryon Wilson Animal Park is a happy home to ducks, geese, chickens, sheep, goats, pigs, ponies and deer. It's found inside Maryon Wilson Park – a beautiful wooded area with streams and open grassland and all the idyllic things you miss about the countryside (until you remember that the countryside is mostly boring). It’s about a 15-minute drive or 20-minute bus ride from Woolwich Works. 

👍️ The Royal Arsenal has been around since the late 1600s, as the place where armaments and ammunition were manufactured for the British Armed Forces. These days, however, the only kind of “shots” you'll find are the espresso and tequila kind 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️. It’s all green open spaces, creative places, and restaurants, cafes and bars, and it's just a grenade's toss 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ from Woolwich Works.

Saturday and Sunday, 10:30–18:00
South Tank, Tate Modern, Bankside, SE1 9TG
FREE

Uniqlo has been partnering with Tate Modern since 2021 to create year-round family activities – and if anyone tells you that brand sponsorships/partnerships don’t work, point them in my direction. Approximately 74% of my wardrobe is Uniqlo, and every time I see their logo, my heart skips a beat and I'm engulfed by a wave of love and affection.

That’s because, since 2021, Uniqlo Tate Play has given my kids and me something fun, creative, safe and free to do whenever it’s too hot, cold or rainy outside. (In fact, back in 2022 – when my youngest was four days old and we were in the midst of a 40-degree heatwave – our family stayed and played in the Uniqlo Tate Play space for hours.)

The current activity focuses on creating sculptures out of “all sorts of squishy stuff, sturdy objects, and interesting bits and bobs”, then hanging them so that they “sway, swing and swirl through touch and height”. 

These activities change every few weeks and they’re always well-organised and well thought-through. They’re missing a trick by not having an on-site Uniqlo store, but I’d probably be bankrupt by now if they did. 

While you’re there… 

👍️ It's a shame they de-wobblified the Millennium Bridge, because it would have been a child's dream. Thankfully, there are two new(ish) reasons your kids might want to walk along it after leaving Tate Modern: Harry Potter, and Guardians of the Galaxy. (I think the bridge features in both movies? I'm basing this information on Wikipedia because I've never seen either.) A third reason to “do the bridge” is seeing St Paul's from the other side of the river: it looks incredible.

👍️ You could also use the Millennium Bridge to actually visit St Paul's rather than just stare at it. While expensive and not advisable for anyone with claustrophobia, acrophobia, climacophobia or ecclesiophobia (I love that these are real words), the views from the top are spectacular.

Sunday 2 June, 14:00–17:30
Streatham & Marlborough Cricket Club, Dulwich Common, SE21 7EX 
Adults ÂŁ11.55; children ÂŁ6.13

The only celebrity they’ve announced is Stephen Fry, and it’s been that way for a few weeks now. Maybe they’re scrounging around for other stars? If you like Stephen Fry and can tolerate cricket (or vice versa), I guess any other details don’t matter much anyway. 

Sunday 2 June, 12:00–19:00
BOXPARK Wembley, Olympic Way, HA9 0JT
From ÂŁ11.58 depending on entry time

Before I go off to sue these clowns for false advertising, let me enlighten you about their event. Crepe City is the world's largest market for exclusive and hard-to-find sneakers. Yes, you read that right: sneakers. (Meanwhile, I’m on a wild goose chase for actual crepes. I even accidentally missed Pancake Day this year, FFS.)

At this “Crepe City”, you can also mingle with other sneakerheads and swap trainers. Spoiler alert in case you missed it: it has nothing to do with crepes. I repeat: absolutely nothing to do with crepes.

So if you see the Nutella crew at the event and they’re FUMING because they too missed the memo, hand them my contact info and suggest they hop on board my lawsuit.

Survey time! (It’ll take less than a minute)

Of all the activities mentioned above, which one(s) do you find most appealing? Let me know - your answer will help me decide which acivities and events to write about in future. Thank you!

Was this email forwarded to you? Sign up!

I’ll email you once a week, and you can unsubscribe at any time.