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🐣 5 things to do in London this weekend with the kids (5–6 April)

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Jeff – Dads in London
April 02, 2025

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Hey DILFs!

Do you remember those “secret” bars that were everywhere about a decade ago? The ones hidden behind pet shops or laundrettes – where you’d punch “6969” into a keypad, a fake bookshelf would slide away, and you’d enter a dark room full of tourists Instagramming their negronis?

Good news: they’re not cool again – as far as I know. No one’s pressuring you to swap Beavertown for Belvedere (again) just yet.

Better news: there’s a new “secret” thing in town – and this one’s actually fun (AND child-friendly). Tucked just off Carnaby Street is Third Man Records – a shop/live music venue/record label co-founded by White Stripeser Jack White, who also designed the store himself.

The shop is great, but the secret is in the basement: a lucky dip book vending machine called the Literarium, which dispenses one-of-a-kind books for a few quid. There’s also a booth where you can record straight to vinyl, and a mini stage with a guitar rig and pedal board you’re actively encouraged to mess around with.

If you’re nearby and have a spare half hour, go. It’s weird and delightful and almost suspiciously wholesome for something lurking under Soho.

There’s your bonus activity for the weekend. Now on with the rest!

Happy weekending, 

Jeff xx

Ed Atkins
Saturday and Sunday, 10:00–18:00 (and every day until 25 August)
Tate Britain, Millbank, SW1P 4RG
Adults £18, 12–17s £5, under-12s free

My dad once said that the only redeeming quality of the Tate Modern is that it’s free, because “the stuff in there definitely isn’t art and definitely isn’t worth paying to see”. While I (mostly) disagree, I can understand his point. 

Which is why I think he’d feel betrayed beyond belief by Tate Britain for showing Ed Atkins. Not just because the work is full of digital avatars having existential crises – the exact kind of thing he rolls his eyes at – but because Tate Britain was supposed to be the safe one. The one with Turner’s blazing skies, Millais’s Ophelia floating in a river, and Waterhouse’s Lady of Shalott looking doomed in a canoe.. Now it has a man created out of pixels, smoking indoors and singing his feelings at you in high-definition. 

But if you can accept a characterisation of art that’s broader than “pretty pictures” – and if your kids aren’t too distraught about missing their usual Turbine Hall sprint-and-slide – the exhibition is worth a look. Atkins uses all sorts of tech the Greats didn’t have – motion capture, CGI, high-definition video and the like – to explore his usual themes of emotional alienation, identity, loss, and the double-edged-swordness of life online. It’s all accompanied by a variety of his writing, paintings, embroideries and drawing. 

You’ll leave unsure whether you’ve just experienced art or been emotionally hacked.

2: Discover a neighbourhood through smell, sound and stories

A Place of Our Making: A multisensory exhibition about east London
Saturday and Sunday, 10:00–18:00 (and every day until 13 April)
UCL East Marshgate, 7 Sidings Street, E20 2AE
FREE

Are “multisensory exhibitions” going to be the “immersive exhibitions” of 2025? If the answer is yes, let it be known that A Place of Our Making will have been one of the ball-rollers. 

The whole endeavour started with a bit of speed-dating. Artists and UCL researchers met and made polite conversation, and the ones who hit it off were given time and funding to work with an east London community, with the aim of developing a collaborative art project. A year later, five of those partnerships made it through the various rounds of shortlisting to produce a full commission – and this exhibition is the result.

The collaborators didn’t have to go multisensory (I don’t think), but that’s the route many of them decided to take. Of the five commissions, the one I’m most keen to try is “East London Smells”, which began with the question, “How do smells shape our experience of place?” Artist Daisy and researcher Ava teamed up with Beyond Sight Loss, a peer-support group for visually impaired people, to explore Brick Lane through scent. Together, they walked, sniffed, chatted with local businesses and mapped the area’s sensory landmarks – from food to fabric softener. Their project reflects on how smell connects people, cultures and memories, even as the landscape changes around them.

The result? An olfactory deep-dive into East London, culminating (as all good projects should) in a brick that smells like a bagel.

Another one that looks interesting is “It is Good to Meet You’. Puppet designer Tony and roboticist Azadeh have built Chippie – a seven-foot puppet exploring how strangers become not-strangers. The project looks at how we bond (or don’t) through movement, gesture and social norms, drawing on stories from the Carpenters Estate – a neighbourhood reshaped, relocated and reimagined more times than anyone asked for, with more still to come.

If “multisensory” is having a moment, I’m not mad about it. This stuff looks ace. 

While you’re there… 

👍️ The Slide (“Helix”) at ArcelorMittal Orbit is open again after a year-long hiatus. You take a lift to the viewing platform, enjoy the views while your breakfast starts plotting its return journey, then grab a mat and off you go. You’ll be travelling at about 15mph as you descend the 178m slide, looping around the Orbit 12 times on the way down. 

If you’re wary about embracing your destiny as a human slinky, don’t worry: there’s also the option to check out the scenery on the viewing platform, then take the lift back to the bottom. Or you can walk down a 350m staircase, which takes around 12 minutes and “features a soundscape of iconic London sounds”. 

(For booking purposes, I’d suggest you just book “ArcelorMittal Orbit 360” – which doesn’t include the slide. You can then upgrade to the “Helix” slide experience when you’re up there, if you feel confident enough.) 

🌟 The Golden Ticket: an extra weekly email about the events you seriously need to book ahead for. (Because the best things book up waaay in advance.)

🌟 Access to my complete database of future events (the ones you’ll need to book), so you can browse, plan and book any time.

🌟 School holiday specials. The Easter one is ready right now!!!

🌟 Occasional special editions about the most-requested topics (starting with “Bringing kids along: Making any activity family-friendly”).

Textiles: The Art of Mankind
Saturday 5 April, 11:00–18:00 (and Tuesdays–Saturdays until 7 September)
Fashion and Textile Museum, 83 Bermondsey Street, SE1 3XF
Adults £11.50, 12–17s £9.50, under-12s free

The last time I went to the Fashion and Textile Museum, a security guard shouted at me because my son tripped over my foot and nearly collided with a mannequin in a butterfly-patterned skirt. The guard wagged his finger in my five-year-old’s face and told him to show more respect, which didn’t go down well with either of us. My son cried. And I said – in my coldest possible voice – “You don’t have to be so mean, you know. It was an ACCIDENT.”

In hindsight, I could’ve done with a better retort. But at the time, I was just proud of myself for not doing my usual “Sorry. So sorry. It won’t happen again. Sorry. We’ll leave right now. So sorry again. Gosh I feel terrible about what might have happened to the, uh, fabric skirt, if it had fallen to the floor.”

I haven’t been back since, out of principle. But I may need to rethink my stance, because this new exhibition sounds genuinely unmissable. (Oh bugger… I’ve just realised I’m one of those “principle of the thing” people I usually despise: the ones who take a firm position until it’s not convenient anymore. Like anyone who refuses to buy from Amazon until it’s the day before Valentine’s Day and nowhere else has anything heart-shaped.)

This must-see (according to me) exhibition has a slightly pompous name, but I’ll let it go because my nerves can’t cope with more than one beef at a time with the venue. Textiles: The Art of Mankind is a global, historical deep-dive into all things woven, stitched and crafted – from ancient fabrics to modern, digitally designed pieces. It’s about how people across the centuries have used textiles to express identity, spirituality and skill, with a huge number of items drawn from the Jo Ann C. Stabb Design Collection – a vast archive of traditional and culturally significant pieces from around the world. Think ceremonial robes, everyday clothes, symbolic wall hangings, and plenty of things that my child will DEFINITELY fall into. 

I hope we enjoy it, because I have a feeling this will be our last ever time at the museum. 

While you’re there… 

👍️ A ten-minute walk away, on Tabard Street, you’ll find estate railings made from old WWII stretchers. During the war, much of London's original fencing was melted down for weapons – so after it ended, someone had the idea to weld surplus stretchers into railings instead. The two kinks in the metal? Designed to make them easier to pick up off the ground. 

No photographer. No stress. Just brilliant photos.

I wasn’t planning to revolutionise your approach to family photos this week. And yet, here we are.

It’s called you self-portrait studio, and it’s one of those ideas that makes instant, perfect sense: a photo studio without the photographer. Just you, your friends, your kids, your dog, your props, your Easter bunny costumes, your engagement rings, your brand-new baby, or whatever else you fancy – alone in a room with a massive mirror.

Behind that mirror? A camera. You press a button on a remote to take a photo. That’s it.

No one barking “Chin down”, no awkward grins, no “Let’s try that again but with less deadness in your eyes.” You’re in front of a mirror the whole time, so you know exactly what you look like. And you’ve got up to 40 minutes to coax children and/or animals into looking cute.

See? Genius. But does it actually work?

I went with a friend and the four kids we collectively own. And it was FANTASTIC. Even better than we’d hoped. Here’s why:

  • It’s so much fun. They play music (you pick the vibe), and the kids immediately decided it was a dance party/photoshoot hybrid.

  • There are loads of props to mess around with. Plus an industrial fan for dramatic wind-blown hair moments.

  • It’s idiot-proof. Even the children were able to direct and shoot.

  • We assumed 40 minutes would feel rushed. But we left with 727 photos, so… no. Trust me: 40 minutes is more than enough. 

  • The photo quality is ridiculous. As in: “Did we accidentally become influencers?” ridiculous.

  • You get to keep every single photo (which will be emailed to you about an hour after your session). You can choose between colour and black-and-white (and a black backdrop is also available).

  • The price is bargainous: ÂŁ75 for 40 minutes or ÂŁ35 for 15 minutes. And because you know a guy (hi!), you can get 10% off with my promo code: enter DADS at checkout when booking a session, or DADS-GIFT if buying a gift voucher. 

I’ve never been this excited about a new service. It’s genuinely brilliant – and it might just spell doom for the humble portrait photographer. Because seriously: once you’ve seen what even a toddler can do with a remote and a wind machine, there’s no going back.

And remember to get 10% off with the promo code DADS (when booking a session) or DADS-GIFT (if buying a gift voucher).

Saturday Sessions With BAC Beatbox Academy
Saturday 5 April, 13:00–15:30
Royal Festival Hall, Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX
FREE – no ticket required
Age guidance: 5–11

You know how “there’s no such thing as a free lunch”? Does that relate to everything that takes place at lunchtime? Or is it just the food itself that’s never free? Or am I misunderstanding the metaphor entirely?

It’s just… there’s this free beatboxing event at the Southbank Centre this Saturday. It’s at 13:00 – which I consider to be pretty solidly “lunchtime” – but there’s no complimentary food on offer… so am I safe on the “no such thing” rule? Or will I be paying some sort of price for it later on? The event seems to good to be true. Is it? 

I should probably tell you what it is, so you can help me figure this out. It’s an afternoon workshop featuring members of the BAC Beatbox Academy, which has just finished touring its hip-hop family musical, The Pied Piper. (If you want to be wowed, watch the trailer here.) They’re going to help you “learn the foundations of beatbox sounds and drive the rats away in a workshop full of singing, rapping and vibes”. 

(Oh hang on… are we being used as free labour to deal with a rodent infestation issue at the Southbank? Is this the evidence I need that there’s really no such thing as a free lunch??? Ohhhhh hang on! They’re making a clever reference to the Pied Piper, who used music to lure the rats away. Phew!)  

I officially have not found a catch, so I guess this event is as good as it seems. The BAC Beatbox Academy has been everywhere recently – on TV shows, in newspaper interviews, all over social media, in packed-out venues – so I’m feeling especially lucky to be able to see them perform and learn their tricks for free. 

Remember: lunchtime. Not lunch. There’s a difference. 

The Big Egg Hunt
Every day until 27 April (24/7)
Across London
FREE

The eggs in transit to their final locations

Did you know that Tiffany once did a brand collaboration with Nike? There were five products: a Tiffany-blue-swooshed pair of trainers ($400), a silver shoe horn, a silver shoe brush, a silver shoelace tag, and a silver… whistle. Literally a whistle. For, I don’t know, beckoning your shoes back after they’ve run away?

The shoes sold out, apparently, and can now be found on the secondary market for up to $3,000. But Tiffany and Nike fans weren’t convinced – and marketing experts were scathing. As one op-ed put it, “... there was no authentic synergy between the two brands, no discernible rationale for the collaboration other than two corporate juggernauts wanting to generate marketing buzz”.

Why am I telling you this? Because I recently went down a rabbit hole of brand collaborations, and – while many of them are awfully cringey – there’s a new one on the scene that actually makes sense. Clarence Court Eggs is sponsoring the 2025 Big Egg Hunt for Easter. Eggs sponsoring eggs. This is perfect. No notes.

The egg hunt consists of 100 oversized eggs, designed by a mix of artists, designers, fashion people and assorted brands. Each egg is two feet tall, decorated to within an inch of its life, and left in public for you to stumble across like a very glossy bit of urban wildlife.

They’re scattered throughout the city – cultural institutions, shopping districts and unexpected corners where your child will suddenly need a wee. You can log your finds via a free app, which may or may not lead to prizes depending on how competitive you are and how many snacks you’ve packed. At the end, the eggs are auctioned off to raise money for Elephant Family, a conservation charity. (You can join the auction too, if you like. And even if you don’t, it’s still a great way to see all the eggs in one go.)

The whole thing is free (unless you bid and win, in which case it’s very expensive), it’s outdoors, and it will give your children something to run towards that isn’t a pigeon.

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