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- 🧑🌾 5 things to do in London this weekend with the kids (15–16 March)
🧑🌾 5 things to do in London this weekend with the kids (15–16 March)
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Hello DILFs!
Quick housekeeping before we dive into the weekend's adventures: I've just finished putting together my comprehensive Easter holiday guide – a mammoth list of London's best family activities spanning the entire break. We're talking museums, workshops, shows, outdoor adventures, immersive experiences, and at least three events involving someone dressed as a giant rabbit.
The good news? Most of them are free or cheap.
The bad news? The best ones will be booked solid before you can say, "What do you mean you're bored already?"
That's why I'm making this guide exclusive to DILF Club members. They'll receive it this weekend, giving them plenty of time to book those hard-to-snag tickets and time slots before the general public catches on.
Not a club member yet? Here's your chance to rectify this grievous error in judgment:
Sign up now for just £36 a year and you'll get the full Easter guide this weekend, along with all the other perks (weekly booking alerts, holiday specials, and my slightly concerning, database of future events that suggests I need to develop healthier hobbies).
Or don't sign up, and spend Easter explaining to your children why all the other kids are making chocolate sculptures with a celebrity pastry chef while they're doing another lap of the local park. Your call. No pressure.
Now, on with this weekend's activities...
Jeff xx
St Patrick’s Day Festival and Parade 2025
Sunday 16 March, 12:00–18:00
Trafalgar Square, WC2N 5DN (parade starts near Hyde Park Corner – see website for info)
FREE

The St Patrick’s Day Festival in London has been the highlight of people’s calendars for literal centuries. (Not mine: I look awful in green.) It’s all about “celebrating the great contributions Irish people have made to the capital and the world”, and they really have given us a lot to appreciate: Oscar Wilde, Yeats, brown lemonade, Samuel Beckett, red lemonade, The Pogues, Graham Norton, leprechauns, U2 if you like that sort of thing, Guinness, Jedward, the Irish Goodbye and “What do you call an Irishman who…”
Each year, there’s a parade from Hyde Park Corner to Trafalgar Square, which is led by a Grand Marshal (someone of Irish heritage or who’s made a mark on the Irish community). This time, there’ll be two Grand Marshals: double gold medallist para-cyclist Katie-George Dunlevy and Olympic boxing champ Kellie Harrington. In 2024, it was drag queen and activist Panti Bliss; in 2023, Imelda Staunton. The Irish are basically the opposite of Leo DiCaprio: they most definitely do not have a type.
There’ll also be a lot going on in Trafalgar Square, where the parade ends: Irish dancing workshops, an arts ‘n’ crafts zone for kids, and performances from The Peppered Aces, Dogs and Kila – musical acts who I will assume are the Boyzone of this current generation. And, of course, there’ll be plenty of typical Irish food and drink – such as, hmmm, American South fried chicken, Cornish ice cream, Asian dim sum, Spanish churros and Colombian coffee.
Find out more: https://www.london.gov.uk/events/st-patricks-festival-2025
While you’re there…
👍️ Chin Chin Labs makes ice cream by hand-churning with liquid nitrogen, and the results (according to reviews) are delicious. If you’re the type of person who thinks mint choc chip is already a step too far, you might shudder on seeing some of the options at this place: “Glazed Potato Peel Soft Serve” (WITH FRENCH FRIES AND POTATO PEEL SAUCE ON TOP OMG WHAT???), “Pantyhose Thai Tea”, “Matcha Tiramisu Sundae”... I shit you not: these are genuine flavours.
Focus! Focus! Where was I going with this? Oh yes: just in time for St Patrick’s Day, their Soho branch has a “Guinness & Marmite” flavour, which is alcohol-free and therefore safe for any of the bonkers people who wish to consume this monstrosity, whatever their age.
👍️ You may have heard of Waxy O’Connor’s – London’s biggest Irish pub. Don’t go there on St Patrick’s Day: it’ll be horrible. Instead, head to Waxy’s Little Sister – which may be just as horrible, but it has one redeeming feature: a Dumb Waiter on the first floor, so you don’t have to run downstairs to get your round. Any child will be enthralled for hours, and you can rest your tootsies after a knackering parade.
The other benefits of this place are the superbly comfortable sofas and lovely open fires. If it’s not absolutely heaving, it’ll be a delightful way to spend St Patrick’s Day afternoon.
Art Space – London Art Fair 2025
Saturday and Sunday, 11:00–19:00 (and other days, including next weekend)
Dockside Vaults, Ivory House, E1W 1AT
FREE (but tickets required)

Sometimes I get so irrationally annoyed by someone’s writing style that I have to stop and ask myself why. More often than not, the answer is: because sometimes I write like that too, and I hate myself for it.
Take exclamation marks. Instead of actually creating a sense of excitement, I’ve been guilty of slapping one onto the end of a sentence and expecting it to do all the work. Sometimes it’s sarcastic (“There’s parking less than 25 miles away! And the water only costs £7!”), but mostly it’s just laziness.
So it felt like a personal attack to read that the Art Space London Art Fair runs for “two separate weeks… each week has different artists!” And that if you want to attend both, “Just add two lots of tickets into your basket! See you soon!” Also, it’s “only a 7-minute walk from Tower Hill underground station!”
BUT – punctuation issues aside – this event does have a lot going for it. Alongside a solid lineup of painting, sculpture, and more “(!)”, Art Space is on a mission to make sure artists actually get paid – rather than watch galleries, organisers, and “trade margins” take the lot.
They also promise "groundbreaking art that challenges the status quo,” by curating “exceptional, high-quality works that spark conversation and inspire new ways of thinking, bringing fresh perspectives to the global art scene”.
Which, if you ask me, is a pretty compelling reason to leave the house – no excessive punctuation required.
While you’re there…
👍️ Tower Bridge is just around the corner, as is the Tower of London.
👍️ There’s a hotel nearby called CitizenM, which has a huge, fantastic lobby that children seem to love. There are comfy seats everywhere, fun-looking books and magazines, and it’s generally just a great place to hang out. The lobby serves coffees and various snacks.
👍️ Over the river, across Tower Bridge, is Shad Thames – one of the most beautiful streets in London (check out some photos here). There are plenty of places to eat and get a drink here, and there’s also a Shad Thames Trail if you want to dig into the genuinely interesting history of the place.
🌟 The Golden Ticket: an extra weekly email about the events you seriously need to book ahead for. (Because the best things book up waaay in advance.)
🌟 Access to my complete database of future events (the ones you’ll need to book), so you can browse, plan and book any time.
🌟 School holiday specials.
🌟 Occasional special editions about the most-requested topics (starting with “Bringing kids along: Making any activity family-friendly”).
Wembley Park Farmers’ Market
Saturday 15 March, 09:00–15:00
Market Square, Wembley Park, HA9 0AA
FREE – no ticket required

Just like budget airlines, reality TV and the word “literally”, I feel like the term “farmers’ market” has lost its original meaning. Back in the 17th century, farmers would set up stalls to sell meat, dairy and fresh produce to city dwellers – and this was the main way by which people bought their food.
When supermarkets became a big deal in the 1950s, traditional farmers’ markets all but disappeared. The pendulum swung back a bit in the 1970s, when we started to get suspicious about how supermarkets could offer products so cheaply (and how did those tomatoes get to be so massive?). By the 1990s, urbanites were flocking to whichever farmers’ markets remained, desperately seeking out local cheeses, farm-fresh milk and seasonal vegetables.
These days, there are more “farmers’ markets” than farmers. But… I dunno. Peruvian avocados? Oat milk in glass bottles? Croissants? Salmon from Norway? CRYSTALS??? These places are not farmers’ markets: they’re Waitrose, but outdoors.
Which brings me to the Wembley Park Farmers’ Market. I’ve never been, but the website description suggests a mixed approach: “farm-reared and organic produce” sounds traditional enough – as do “home-grown plants” and “homemade pies”. But “Mediterranean goods” and “Italian deli goods”: not so much. Maybe I need to keep an open mind. Maybe there’s a lovely little olive grove just off the North Circular, and no one thought to tell me.
While you’re there…
BOXPARK Wembley has live screenings of all the Six Nations matches – with “pre-match entertainment, guest speakers or performers, the best street food around and a fully stocked bar”. Tickets cost £8.30 per person, per match and include a drink. There are three matches on Saturday, and you can book them all here.
Family Concert: A London Adventure
Saturday 15 March, 11:30
Sinfonia Smith Square, SW1P 3HA
£6.48 per person
Age guidance: suitable for all

Sinfonia Smith Square events need their own travel advisory warning: “If you’re coming from Westminster station, give yourself at least 20 minutes to cross the damn road.”
Confident that you’ll be able to weave your way through the throngs of tourists who clog up the pavements waiting for the green man? Yeah no. You’ve met your match with this lot.
Once you’ve kicked, screamed and cried your way to the other side of Parliament Square Garden (the green square in the middle), you’re in the clear – and then it’s a LOVELY walk to the beautiful Sinfonia Smith Square, where you’ll be rewarded for your stamina with a musical adventure for the whole family.
The music comes courtesy of various legend-status composers who lived and worked in London, such as Handel and Mendelssohn, and there’ll be “interactive presentations on each piece” from the orchestra – whatever that may mean. (It’ll be brilliant regardless: the Sinfonia crew know what they’re doing.)
After the music, you can meet the musicians and try out their instruments. I’ve been to a similar concert at Sinfonia Smith Square before, and this part of the event is great: the musicians are so good with kids that I swear they’ve all been stolen from the Blue Peter presenter selection process.
Festival of the Future
Saturday 15 March, 10:00–17:00
RIBA, 66 Portland Place, W1B 1AD
FREE (but all individual activities must be booked online)
Age guidance: suitable for all (see individual activities for specific age guidance)

In an alternate life, I would have been an architect. That alternate life requires some alternate skills too: I’d be good at geometry and drawing/design – and I’d have an aptitude for understanding engineering, physics and computer programming. I possess zero of these abilities – which means you can strike a number of options off your “I wonder what Jeff does for a living” list.
As a wannabe-architect, I receive a regular newsletter from the Royal Institute of British Architects – which is great for you because it means I can tell you about its latest family event. The Festival of the Future has a lame name but a fantastic mission: “Explore, create, and imagine your future in the built environment.” There’s a humongous variety of events, and here are my ultimate favourites:
RIBA Baby: Songs and stories (10:00–11:00): Come on a learning adventure in architecture for under-3 and see what you find out through the magic of song, dance, and stories.
Pop up Pavilions and Archimake Showcase (11:00–16:00): Drop-In practical design workshop for children aged 5+, in which they can test their design and making skills by building large-scale shelters inspired by Serpentine pavilions.
Dream Designs: Circular Straw Cities (11:00–16:00): Drop-in practical workshop where children can unleash their creativity by designing and building their dream projects.
Discover Your City Superheroes (11:00–16:00): Discover how cities are like giant puzzles waiting to be solved. Children aged 7–12 can enjoy coming up with novel ideas to make their neighbourhood more enjoyable.
While you’re there…
👍️ You’re right next to the south-east bit of The Regent’s Park – home to Marylebone Green Playground (which has some of the most unique playground equipment in London) and the beautiful English Gardens. Walk a bit further and you’ll find yourself in the world-famous (or at least I think it’s world-famous?) Queen Mary’s Rose Gardens and my son’s favourite: the Japanese Garden Island.
👍️ The Wellcome Collection is a completely free museum on Euston Road that focuses on health, medicine and human experience. There have an interesting-sounding exhibition on at the moment, called “Hard Graft: Work, Health and Rights”, which explores “the profound impact of physical work on health and the body”.