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🛝 5 things to do in London this weekend with the kids (15–16 February)

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Jeff – Dads in London
February 12, 2025

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Hey DiLFs!

My youngest managed to puke his way out of nursery last week. He’s fine. I'm sure he just decided he’d rather gatecrash Daddy’s Zoom meetings than do Circle Time that day, so he exploited the “vomit and vamoose” rule of childcare facilities and coughed his way into a throw-up. 

I’m telling you about this, obviously, because I’m in desperate need of an excuse. For months now, I’ve been planning a New Big Thing for Dads in London readers – and today was meant to be announcement day. But the New Big Thing isn’t ready because I’ve been giving piggy back rides and Monster Munch to my perfectly healthy toddler for the past few days, and haven’t had a chance to set it all up. 

SO: assuming no one decides to doodle chicken pox onto their arms in order to avoid Half Term Camp, I’ll tell you everything next week! If you want to know about it in advance, email me back and I’ll give you a heads-up. 

For now, enjoy this weekend’s activities! 

Jeff xx

1: Step into Shakespeare’s world – now with fewer plague rats

Shakespeare’s Globe Story & Tour: under-16s go half price
Saturday and Sunday, slots every half hour between 09:30 and 16:30 (and every day until 1 May)
Shakespeare’s Globe, 21 New Globe Walk, SE1 9DT
Adults ÂŁ27, under-16s ÂŁ13.50 (plus ÂŁ2.50 transaction fee)
DiL age guidance: 8+

Note: children under 3 go free at Globe theatre performances, so I’m pretty sure the same would apply for a tour. 

“Zounds!” I exclaimed, when I glanced at the prices for a tour of The Globe. “What scullions! What rampallians! What fustilarians! Oh, how I wish to tickle their catastrophes,” is what I thought, feeling very aggrieved – but not forgetting that my trash-talk should be suitably Shakespearean. 

If you had the same thoughts (and accompanying words to express them), I have good news! For one season only, children go half price – which means the tour isn’t quite the equivalent of an entire pound of flesh anymore.

While the experience still isn’t cheap-cheap, I do think the discount makes the experience worthwhile. There’s loads to see and take in, and you’ll spend about two hours at the venue – starting with a guided tour in which you’ll learn all about the original 1599 theatre and how it was reconstructed in 1997 as an exact replica.

After the tour, you’ll get to walk through a brand new exhibition space in which you’ll be “immersed in the sights, sounds, and secrets of Shakespeare’s London,” and where you can relive some of The Globe’s most iconic shows and “even have the chance to get ready for the stage yourself with interactive costumes and props”. 

Reviews of the tour are astonishingly positive, so I’m intending to go with my seven-year-old at some point this spring. (The toddler isn’t worth £13.50, so he can spend a couple of hours elsewhere.)

While you’re there… 

👍️ The Electric Dreams exhibition is still showing at Tate Modern. We went a couple of months ago and I may have completely forgotten to tell you about it, but it’s great! It “brings together groundbreaking works by a wide range of international artists who engaged with science, technology and material innovation”, which you can take to mean: “Lots of zany things to look at and fiddle, and a bunch of stuff to confuse your senses, plus a big room with massive balloons that’ll keep you there for hours.”

👍️ It's a shame they de-wobblified the Millennium Bridge, because it would have been a child's dream. Thankfully, there are two new(ish) reasons your kids might want to walk along it after leaving The Globe: Harry Potter, and Guardians of the Galaxy. (I think the bridge features in both movies? I'm basing this information on Wikipedia because I've never seen either.) A third reason to “do the bridge” is seeing St Paul's from the other side of the river: it looks incredible.

The Murdér Express: An Immersive Dining Experience
Sunday 16 February, 13:00 for the family show (the Saturday family show slot has already sold out)
Funicular Productions, Pedley Street Station, Arch 63, E1 5BW
Adults £74.60, children (5–16) £63.40 (children under 5 aren’t allowed)
​Murdér Express age guidance: 5+

Before I became a parent, I’d look at people who took their kids to fancy shows and nice restaurants (indeed any restaurant) and think, “Why didn’t you just get a babysitter? Surely you’d have a far better time if those snotty little whiners weren’t with you?” 

Now that I have children, I still often feel that way – usually when it’s too late and I already have the snotty little whiners in tow. But much of the time, I want to take them with me because I enjoy hanging out with them. (It’s also quite lovely being able to introduce them to new experiences – even if they only seem to remember the bit where they dropped their remaining Pom Bears on the pavement and a passing dog gobbled them up.)

All this is to say that you could decide to be offspringless for this classy dining experience and it would be completely understandable. But you could also decide that it’ll be crazy fun to bring them along (there are daytime family shows on the weekend) – even if it means sniggering more quietly at the double entendres to avoid getting pestered with “What’s so funnyyyy?” every five seconds.  

The gist of the experience is this: it’s a combination of fine dining and “whodunnit” comedy theatre, in which the storyline revolves around a group of people who board a train. One of them is killed before the train reaches its destination, but no one knows who’s responsible. (FYI: you’ll be on an actual train for the show. It won’t move anywhere, but it “gives the sense that you are moving”, somehow.)

The comedic actors immerse themselves with the other “passengers” (the audience), bringing the story to life. And during a somewhat unrealistic-but-welcome-nonetheless pause in the show, you’ll get a lovely three-course meal too.

To make you feel better about the price, a family of four will be approximately one million eight hundred and twenty-one thousand five hundred and ninety-four times less expensive than Jeff Bezos’s boat. And a mere, teensy, four point six times more costly than four portions of regular ol’ avocado toast in London. 

Find out more: https://feverup.com/m/80803 

While you’re there… 

👍️ Brick Lane is a short walk away, so if you’re in the mood for a biryani, a bagel or – for a nice thematic tie-in – a Banksy, head here.

👍️ The Van Gogh immersive experience is also nearby. Artistic immersive experiences are everywhere these days, but this is one of the first, and – in my thoroughly non-expert opinion – one of the best. The final room with 360-degree images of his most famous work is legitimately (again, not an expert) wonderful. 

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Making Egypt
Saturday and Sunday, 10:00–17:45 (last entry 16:15)
Young V&A, Cambridge Heath Road, E2 9PA
ÂŁ10 per person
DiL age guidance: 5+

Like many Brits, I’m easily annoyed by tiny things. Unlike many Brits, I will find a way to air my grievances. If there’s an extraneous apostrophe on a menu, I won’t simply tut: I’ll get up and leave the damn restaurant. If a passenger barges onto the train before others have had the chance to get off, I’ll remind them of their manners. And if I order a pink sippy cup but a blue one arrives, the Amazon chatbots and I both know what’s about to happen.

I recently realised that this newsletter can allow me to speak up about even greater injustices in the world, such as – and this is a biggie – the lack of information on the V&A website. Even the most highly anticipated exhibitions will be lucky to get half a paragraph; my oat milk carton gives me more backstory. 

While I wait for the V&A to acknowledge and agree with my complaint and put out a tender for the web design overhaul, I’ll have to continue referring to other sources for exhibition details – in this case the super-helpful TimeOut London (which I thought had folded years ago) and Maxwell Museums (my new favourite website).

Here’s what I’ve discovered: Making Egypt explores how ancient Egypt’s art, symbols and stories continue to shape the modern world. Whether it’s carving myths into temple walls, crafting protective amulets or painting tombs with visions of the afterlife, ancient Egyptian creativity has influenced design, storytelling and even the way we communicate today. And that’s why Minecraft, LEGO, and other banes of parents’ existence are on display alongside a two-metre painted coffin and a 4,000-year-old funerary boat. (I know I don’t need to say it, but here’s your angle right here if your kids aren’t already overjoyed by the prospect of a museum trip.)

There are hands-on activities too, inviting families to decipher hieroglyphics, design their own amulet, experiment with colour, and more. It’s a big exhibition with a lot to do – so the Young V&A has helpfully ensured that your ticket is valid for unlimited visits. 

(FYI: there are lots of Making Egypt half-term activities available.)

A Big Egg
Saturday 15 February, 11:00 and 13:00
Lyric Hammersmith Theatre, Lyric Square, King Street, W6 0QL
ÂŁ10 per person
Lyric Theatre age guidance: 3–7

We’re only halfway through February, but f**k it: let’s get the kids insanely excited about Easter already. Let’s have them spend two entire months begging for chocolate eggs, asking loaded questions about the Easter Bunny, and twisting your arm to plonk Cadbury Cremers in random locations around the house. 

I can only imagine that’s what Lyric Theatre was thinking by putting on this production so early. It’s about Jack and his little sister Molly, who are very eggcited about Easter because I’m a dad and I’m allowed to make dad jokes. 

Jack and Molls want to know how big an egg can get, and what “wonderful surprises” they might find inside. I’m hoping this isn’t a regular chicken egg we’re talking about, because there’s only so much awe you can eke out of some membranes and a yolk. (Although if it’s a chocolate egg, will children in the audience forever feel let down when they open up a real one and realise there’s just a lot of air storage inside? So many questions – and that’s before we start arguing about chicken/egg timelines.)

A Big Egg is based on a picture book that came out at the end of last year, and I don’t think it’s doing Gruffalo-esque sales just yet – so hopefully this production (which is on a mini UK tour) will give it a bit of a push. There’ll be live action, animation, puppetry and songs, so I’m banking on it cracking the big time. Sorry.

Viewing Platform (“ArcelorMittal Orbit 360”) and Slide (“Helix”) at ArcelorMittal Orbit
Saturday and Sunday, 10:00–17:30 (and most weekdays, but with fewer time slots)
ArcelorMittal Orbit, Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park, E20 2AD
From ÂŁ7 (Orbit 360) and ÂŁ14 (Helix) per person, plus ÂŁ5 transaction fee per order
Zip World age guidance: children must be at least 1.3m for Helix

Note: if you want, you can book the Orbit 360 and then upgrade to Helix once you’re on the viewing platform.

Originally meant to add "something extra" to the Olympic Park before the Games, the 114.5-metre Orbit tower has divided opinion over the years – which is about as honest as saying New Coke was "well received by some”. 

It’s been called “a mangled rollercoaster”, a “mutant trombone”, the “Godzilla of public art” and “a giant Mr Messy”. It’s been likened to “an enormous wire-mesh fence that has got hopelessly snagged round the bell of a giant french horn”, and was shortlisted for Building Design’s Carbuncle Cup – an award for the worst British building completed that past year. Even those open-minded Guardian readers considered it “garbage” in a poll. And as recently as last year, The New York Times architecture critic called it “possibly the worst sculpture of the 21st century” – which can only mean he isn’t familiar with the Secret Sentinels near the Gherkin. 

I personally think it’s quite nice. Always have. And I like the fact that it has a purpose. I mean, I guess it would be better if the purpose were to “drop free cupcakes from the sky” or “generate rainbows over London every hour”, but I still think that the promise to “get a lovely 360-degree view of London and then slide down THE WORLD’S LARGEST TUNNEL SLIDE” is a pretty cool intention too. 

And that’s exactly what you’ll be able to do at the recently refurbished structure. It’s been closed for over a year, but now it’s back – and newly managed by Zip World. (Bummer alert: there are no zip wires.) You take a lift to the viewing platform, enjoy the views while your breakfast starts plotting its return journey, then grab a mat and off you go. You’ll be travelling at about 15mph as you descend the 178m slide, looping around the Orbit 12 times on the way down. 

If you’re wary about embracing your destiny as a human slinky, don’t worry: there’s also the option to take the lift back to the bottom. Alternatively, you can walk down a 350m staircase, which takes around 12 minutes and “features a soundscape of iconic London sounds”. 

(For booking purposes, I’d suggest you just book “ArcelorMittal Orbit 360” – which doesn’t include the slide. You can then upgrade to the “Helix” slide experience when you’re up there, if you feel confident enough.) 

While you’re there… 

👍️ There’s SO much to do and see at Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park. Out come the bullet points! 

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