🎲 5 things to do in London this weekend with the kids (12–13 April)

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Hey DILFs! 

It’s Easter. You don’t have time to read a long-winded intro, and I don’t have time to write one. We’re having a blast, but hanging on for dear life here. 

Let’s cut to the chase! 

Enjoy, 

Jeff

1: Pick up a plant that won’t judge your “garden”

Spring Plant Fair
Sunday 13 April, 10:00–16:00
Garden Museum, Lambeth Palace Road, SE1 7LB
£5 per person

Have you ever been to a plant fair? I visited one years ago, and it didn’t really do it for me. 

It was a suburban plant fair, which means the plants were for GARDENS – all caps – not “gardens” of the London variety, which deserve sneer quotes because they’re anything but. At the time, my own “garden” was actually a “balcony” – the kind that needed not just two sets of quote marks but an entire roll of pigeon spikes. Even the hardiest perennials would’ve filed for asylum if I’d brought them home.

At the Garden Museum’s plant fair, you probably won’t find dusty Land Rovers in the car park that smell faintly of spaniel – and you probably won’t be able to buy automated irrigation kits or three-foot-high topiary cones. And that’s because this plant fair knows its visitors: Londoners. That is, people who might have a back garden the size of the Holborn Sainsbury’s, but who are much more likely to put  their green fingers to use on community allotments, windowsills and (out come the quotes again) “balconies” and “terraces”. 

Featuring specialist nurseries and expert plant growers from around the country, the Garden Museum Plant Fair is the place to go if you need shade-loving, small-scale, forgetful-owner-surviving greenery. You’ll also find nurseries with innovative approaches to growing – such as Sussex-based Zophian Plants, which specialises in adaptable shrubs that can cope with changing conditions, and is also experimenting with growing in “sand-based mediums and peat-free compost”. 

And, because this is London – where even a bouncy castle has a guest speaker – there’s also a packed schedule of talks and workshops covering everything from urban fruit trees to making cities greener. (You’ll need to book those separately.)

Find out more: https://gardenmuseum.org.uk/events/spring-plant-fair-2025/ 

While you’re there… 

👍️ The Imperial War Museum down the road has a family drop-in activity every weekend (and daily during the holidays) called Story Seekers; check the Family Activities page for more information because the topic/activity changes frequently. They’re also doing a daily activity over Easter called “Making a Museum”, which invites you to discover “what it means to make a museum and why we tell the stories we tell”. 

👍️ Just over the river, Victoria Tower Gardens is a charming park that provides fantastic views of both the Houses of Parliament and the Thames. It’s known for “The Burghers of Calais” – a sculpture celebrating freedom by August Rodin. Equally famous is the statue of suffragette Emmeline Parkhurst, which stands in the shadow of Victoria Tower. You’ll also be pleased to know there’s an award-winning playground at one end, which comes with a stream of water you can pump yourself, a sandpit, a shaky bridge, wobbly boat and swings. 

2: Escape screen-time without anyone noticing

Now Play This
Saturday 12 April, 10:00–13:30 or 14:00–17:45
Somerset House, Strand, London WC2R 1LA
£10 per person (12 and under: free)

I’m not really a “computer games” kind of person, and that’s mainly because I’m useless at them. My son has banned me from Minecraft because I tried to feed a sheep but set it on fire instead; and I’m pretty sure my Sonic days are numbered due to mistaking Robotnik for someone I was meant to rescue. 

Analogue board games, though, I can do. Unless it’s Monopoly, because it's just plain embarrassing to be bankrupted by a six-year-old property tycoon. Or Trivial Pursuit, because no one should lose over a question about Belgian postage. Or Catan, because I feel like a right plonker when bartering with my child for imaginary bricks. All the others, though: big fan. And I want my kids to understand the joys of board games because no one ever fondly recalls “that time we all sat quietly with our devices”. 

​​So I’m deeelighted about the upcoming Now Play This extravaganza at Somerset House – a celebration of (mostly) screen-free game playing in all its chaotic, joyful glory. Highlights include a collaborative storytelling game where you roll dice, draw maps and build entire worlds with strangers; a hands-on workshop where you invent a board game as you go; and a “choose your own adventure” chaos-fest where the audience votes on what happens next. 

It’s a welcome change of pace from the bright, buzzy chaos of things like the Minecraft Experience, Bubble Planet or the Twist Museum – it’s quieter, scrappier, and full of wonky charm.

Find out more: https://nowplaythis.net/ 

While you’re there… 

👍️ Waterloo Bridge has my favourite views in London. Look west to Big Ben, the South Bank and London Eye, and look east for Tower Bridge, Canary Wharf and St Paul’s Cathedral. 

👍️ It’s the final weekend to catch the Soil: The World at Our Feet exhibition at Somerset House. Even though it seems like a made-up title to win the “most boringly named fake exhibition” award, it’s been incredibly popular and reviewers have raved about it.

3: Wander through centuries of high-sparkle swagger

Cartier
Saturday and Sunday, 10:00–17:45 (and daily until 16 November)
V&A South Kensington, Cromwell Road, SW7 2RL
Adults £26, 12–17s £18, under-12s free

When something or someone is old enough, I suppose they’re almost guaranteed to have one of two aspects of their life that make you think, “Whoa! What a history! What an extraordinary existence!” – even if most of it was fairly mundane.  

Like the Watergate Hotel. It brought down a presidency in the early 1970s (WHOA!)... and then spent the next four decades quietly changing owners, cancelling renovations, hosting liquor license disputes, and racking up utility bills while sitting empty – until it finally reopened (to no fanfare whatsoever) in 2016. Or how about the Egyptian town of Rosetta, which has been around since ancient times – but aside from one multilingual slab that unlocked Egyptian hieroglyphs, it’s mostly just sat there being humid.

Some places don’t settle for one big moment, though: they insist on staying interesting. The V&A, for example, has been reinventing itself, stealing headlines and refusing to be boring since 1852. It’s hosted rock concerts and runway shows, fed the RAF, schooled evacuated children, hidden its treasures in quarries and Tube tunnels during WWII, and once put Kylie Minogue’s gold hotpants on a plinth (which guaranteed tabloid coverage for weeks). And now, after a string of ridiculously successful exhibitions that have basically turned South Kensington into a cultural pilgrimage site, it’s hosting a new one that looks set to break all attendance records. 

The exhibition traces how Cartier went from crafting romantic trinkets for Napoleon’s cousin to kitting out royalty, heiresses and the odd pop star – all while borrowing from architecture, global design traditions and the decorative arts to define what wealth looked like (and still does). Alongside sketches and archive material, you can check out some of the most jaw-dropping jewels ever made – including coronation brooches, Grace Kelly’s engagement ring and a tiara last seen perched on Rihanna.

Whether you’re in it for the craftsmanship or the celebrity loaners, it’s worth elbowing through the crowds for this one.

Find out more: https://www.vam.ac.uk/exhibitions/cartier 

Tickets are fully booked for the next few weeks, but you might be able to book a cancelled slot for this weekend. My DILF Club members found out about it weeks ago, so they were able to book when tickets were still widely available. If you want to join The DILF Club and avoid missing out on popular events in future, it works out at just £3 a month and comes with a bunch of other benefits. 

While you’re there… 

👍️ The V&A has created a family trail that takes you through the best parts (for kids) of the V&A galleries. Find the trail description here.

👍️ You’re really not far from the other museums (Science, Natural History, Design) if you can be bothered. 

👍️ In addition to the ice skating, bowling and Meatliquor burgers on offer at Queens Skate Dine Bowl, there’s also augmented reality darts (?!), curling and an arcade den. 

👍️ After something more wholesome? You could always grab a Lime bike and cycle around London’s ninth-most popular route of 2023: the Hyde Park bike path. 

👍️ Equally wholesome: the Diana Memorial Playground in Kensington Gardens has a wooden pirate ship (with a beach), sensory trail, teepees, and various play sculptures. It’s so good that it’s almost an insult to label it a playground. I might petition for it to be changed to the Diana Memorial Adventure Kingdom. 

4: Cheer as posh people row furiously through a grudge match

The Boat Race 2025
Sunday 13 April, 13:31 (women’s race) and 14:21 (men’s race) – 2.5 hours and 1.5 hours respectively before high tide, so that crews are rowing with the fastest possible current
Various locations along the Thames
FREE

I’ve “watched” The Boat Race once in my life – from my grandma’s living room when I was a young boy. I spent the entire 25-ish minutes surreptitiously stealing pear drops and butterscotch from my grandma’s sweet jar while everyone in the family cheered on Cambridge (because my uncle went to Cambridge and so we always root for Cambridge). 

I haven’t watched or cared for it since because I’ve never considered it thrilling telly – and I imagine it’s even worse to be there in person because you have to deal with crowds and rain. 

But I’m starting to think I should take more of an interest. Beginning in 1829 (in which Oxford won “easily”), it’s now a classic British institution: pointless, elitist, rainy, anchored in ancient grudges, and cheered on by people who don’t care. And for those reasons alone, it needs to be celebrated and continued. 

Another reason for watching is because there’s been SO much scandal over the centuries – and there’s always the chance of watching the latest one unfold, live from the banks of the Thames this year. (My favourite scandal, in case you’re interested, is what I’ll refer to as The Dead Heat Debacle of 1877, when the judge, John Phelps, declared it a tie. But people at Oxford started accusing Phelps of being an unreliable judge because he was old, reportedly blind in one eye, and drunk under a bush at the time of the finish. All nonsense, apparently – and the official verdict is still “dead heat” – but I admire Oxford’s chutzpah.)

As of 2024, Cambridge is leading in the men’s race overall – with 87 victories to Oxford’s 81 (with Cambridge having won five of the past six races). There’s been a women’s race since 1927, and Cambridge are leading that too – by 48 wins to 30 (with Cambridge having won the past seven races). So… all I’m saying is that, with these mounting losses, I’m going to be paying close attention to any signs of foul play from Oxford. 

Want to watch from home instead? The Boat Race website has an assortment of printables and games to muck around with: bingo cards, bunting, a commentary cheat sheet, prediction cards, trivia, a word search worksheet for kids, an Oxford cocktail recipe card, a Cambridge cocktail recipe card, and two of the naffest things I’ve ever seen: a virtual invitation, and cupcake toppers. 

Find out more: https://www.theboatrace.org/ 

5: Putt your way through pop art and pink bridges

Minigolf at Canary Wharf
Saturday and Sunday, 12:00–18:00 (and every day until 5 October)
Montgomery Square , Canary Wharf, E14 5GX
FREE

To me, minigolf is like karaoke: more fun when drunk, secretly terrifying when it’s your turn, and basically just a public exercise in shame.

Also like karaoke, some people take it very seriously. There’s a world governing body (naturally), and most European countries have their own official minigolf federations. But here in the UK, we mostly treat it as a substitute for Giant Jenga on team-building days. And there’s a good reason for that: politics.

Sport England – the body that decides which sports get public funding – doesn’t recognise minigolf as a sport in its own right, as it’s considered a quirky offshoot of actual golf. So while Germany trains national champions, we’re still playing next to a fibreglass gorilla in a pirate hat. Which, to be fair, is much more fun.

And that brings me neatly to some excellent news: there’s free minigolf in Canary Wharf until October. No pirate props, sadly, but there is a neon jump ramp, a pink-and-yellow chequered bridge, pop art obstacles and multicoloured smiley-face balls. It’s first come, first served, and everything’s provided – but if there’s a wait, you can kill time at one of the nearby ping-pong tables (BYO bats and balls).

Find out more: https://canarywharf.com/whats-on/minigolf-by-craig-karl-4/ 

While you’re there…

👍️ Need to cool down – both literally and metaphorically – after a heated argument about whether your ball actually cleared the jump ramp? Head to a beautifully air-conditioned Everyman Cinema at Canary Wharf – where even your most opinionated relative knows to zip it. 

And if you could do with some refuelling after all the, erm gentle shuffling between holes while unwrapping a Mini Cheddar, you’ll get your food and drinks served directly to your ridiculously plush seat here. By “food and drinks”, I don’t mean “popcorn and Fanta”. I mean “black garlic and chorizo croquetas”, pizza with “roasted portobello mushroom, whipped ricotta, fior di latte, crispy sage, rosemary and truffle oil”, “fresh baked cookie dough”, plus wine, beer, cocktails and coffee (to name just a few).n up!