🧬 5 things to do in London this weekend with the kids (1–2 March)

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DILFs!!! I can FINALLY reveal all! 

Due to popular – and very polite, I might add – demand, I’ve created The DILF Club. No, it’s not an exclusive society for dads who pose seductively with buggies. Nor is it a WhatsApp group for men sharing gym selfies captioned “Just off to do the nursery pick-up 😉.”

It’s a special club for those of us who like to book things in advance – before all the best seats are taken, before all the best time slots have gone, and before the prices have gone up. 

Here’s what you’ll get when you sign up to The DILF Club. 

🌟 The Golden Ticket: an extra weekly email about the events you seriously need to book ahead for. 

🌟 Access to my complete database of future events (the ones you’ll need to book), so you can browse, plan and book any time. It’s bonkersly massive and easy to navigate. You can also filter by date, venue, price and a whole lot more. 

🌟 School holiday specials, so by the time your kid is saying “Dad, I’m bo-” you’re already shoving your Notes app with five amazing options in their whiny face. Lovingly.

🌟 Occasional special editions about the most-requested topics (starting with “Bringing kids along: Making any activity family-friendly”, because you all seem particularly interested in that). 

For the first 20 members, it’s just £36 a year. After that, the price goes up.

If it's not for you, no pressure! I'm just happy to have you here.

Want in? Click here to join the club. (Just £3 per month!!)

And now on with our regularly scheduled event… 

Jeff xx

PS Dads In London is just me, far too many browser tabs, and an obsessive streak that I believe the modern term for is “problematic". I hope The DILF Club will help me keep this thing going – but either way, I massively appreciate you being here.

PPS Everyone who contributed to last week’s poll wanted photos to accompany the listings, so I’ve included them for events where I think they’ll be helpful. Let me know what you think!

1: See Van Gogh, Goya and more in paintings that changed everything

Goya to Impressionism. Masterpieces from the Oskar Reinhart Collection
Saturday and Sunday, 10:00–18:00 (and daily until 26 May)
Courtauld Gallery, Somerset House, Strand, WC2R 0RN
Adults £14, 0–18 free
DiL age guidance: 5+

The Oskar Reinhart Collection has never left Switzerland before, so this is an exciting moment. Because let me tell you: I’ve been looking into a family holiday in Lucerne and I’m starting to think the real masterpiece is how much the Swiss can charge for a hotel room.

But is it even worth the expedition to Somerset House – a place so far-flung it practically brushes up against Covent Garden? IMHO yes, because the artists featured changed the game. Before them, art was mostly about kings, gods and people looking serious in ruffled collars. Then this lot came along and said to themselves (I imagine): “Enough of these fusty relics of yore! Henceforth, we shall commit to canvas the riotous spectacle of everyday existence – the clutter, the commotion, the very pulse of life itself! Brushes aloft: ONWARD!” 

There’s Van Gogh’s hospital ward, painted after he famously parted ways with his ear. There’s a very intense still life of salmon steaks. And there’s a portrait of a performer in clown garb, visibly over it. They’re not all necessarily nice to look at, but they have stories. 

The exhibition is proving to be hugely popular, so it may already have sold out for this weekend. If that’s the case, don’t worry: it’s on until the end of May, so there are other chances to visit. (And if you want more of a heads-up about stuff like this in future, consider becoming part of The DILF Club!)

Find out more: https://courtauld.ac.uk/whats-on/exh-goya-to-impressionism-masterpieces-from-the-oskar-reinhart-collection/ 

While you’re there… 

👍️ Somerset House is hosting an exhibition called Soil: The World at Our Feet. For weeks, I’ve been joking to my family that either this is a sign they’ve run out of ideas, or that the exhibitions officer is quietly angling for a redundancy package.

But everyone else may be having the last laugh. We visited Somerset House over half term to see Dr Seuss’s The Lorax (I liked it, even if others didn’t), and the screening room was near the entrance to the Soil exhibition. By 11am the box office for the exhibition was HEAVING. And reviews have been incredible too. So, erm, oops. 

2: Discover how DNA lets scientists spy on history

DNA Time Travel
Saturday 1 March, 14:00–15:15
The Royal Institution of Great Britain, 21 Albemarle Street, W1S 4BS
Adults £17.06, 16 and under £10.85
Royal Institution age guidance: 12 and under

Are you one of those annoying people who, on hearing the letters “DNA”, insists on saying the entire word out loud? Well then, you’ll be positively exasperating in the lead-up to this event at the Royal Institution. 

In just 75 minutes, you’ll learn all about ancient DNA and how it can be used to “peek into history and learn more about humans and what they were up to”. You’ll also find out about ancient diseases and how they spread over time – and the implications for what we know about diseases today. 

The talk will be led by someone who ticked every darn “relevant experience” box on the application: “Pooja Swali is a Research Fellow at UCL and her research focuses on the retrieval, detection and analysis of pathogen genomes from historical samples to trace their evolutionary journey across time.” She also won the Scientific Achievement award at the Crick for her PhD work on prehistoric plague genomes from Britain. Which is to say: if she doesn’t know what she’s talking about, we’re all in trouble.

While you’re there… 

👍️ Mayfair has some of the loveliest streets in London – and this self-guided walking tour is a great way to see them. Two maps (for parts 1 and 2 of the tour) are at the bottom of the written description of the route. 

3: Look at 20 years of iconic photos, questionable trends, and Tesco-bag chic

The Face Magazine: Culture Shift
Saturday 10:30​​–21:00 and Sunday, 10:30–18:00 (and other days until 18 May)
National Portrait Gallery, St Martin's Place, WC2H 0HE
Adults £23, under-12s free
DiL age guidance: 7+

I was too young to have been an avid reader of The Face magazine. And before you say it, OK fine: I would never have been an avid reader of The Face anyway, because my tastes are too obscure, too unique, too edgy. By which I mean pop music and romcoms. 

The Face was COOL. So cool that it folded due to dwindling circulation. (That’s the problem with cool stuff: it can define the tastes of an entire generation, but still struggle to find readers. Uncool mags like TV Choice and Good Housekeeping, on the other hand, are pretty much guaranteed to still be going strong long after TVs and houses are even a thing.)

This exhibition shows us more than 200 photos from the magazine’s two decades influencing British culture. You’ll recognise the iconic images that launched the careers of multiple photographers and fashion stylists – “who were given the creative freedom to radically reimagine the visual language of photography and define the spirit of their times”. And you’ll also discover an array of less famous but equally innovative (bonkers?) images from the time – such as the model Rufus Jordan “in a sharp suit and cufflinks, with a Tesco bag over his head”. 

The Face is actually back in print, by the way: it was relaunched in 2019. Circulation is… well, about the same as when it folded in 2004. Turns out the real secret to longevity in publishing isn’t being cool – it’s running a crossword page and a recipe for shepherd’s pie.

While you’re there… 

👍️ Head to the Family Welcome Weekend at The National Gallery next door! See below for more. 

4: Appreciate what it took to dress like a 16th-century theatre star

Discovery Day: Costume
Saturday 1 March, 13:00 and 15:00
Rose Playhouse, 56 Park Street, SE1 9AR
Adults £7, under-12s £5
Rose Playhouse age guidance: 7+

I never understood the appeal of sitting for a portrait. You remain still for HOURS and then everyone makes fun of the end result because of your facial expression, or what you’re wearing, or the background, or the artist who was commissioned to do it, or the painting style, or the lack of subtlety, or how generally unappealing it makes you look. 

Some people have no choice, of course – and this is my sixth reason for not ever wanting to be King. (The first five are: I don’t like corgis; I’d have to pretend to enjoy the bagpipes; I’d never be able to eat my Meal Deal in peace again; I can’t be bothered to learn all the names of the dukes; and I don’t think my attempts at aboriginal dancing will go down well with anyone.)

I’m not sure if Edward Allen, the leading thespian at The Rose Playhouse, had a portrait foisted upon him against his will, but he was definitely prepared when it came to attire. I mean, his outfit wouldn’t be a great idea for a contemporary stage actor like Daniel Radcliffe or someone, but I can appreciate that it worked well in the 1600s. 

If you want to find out what it takes to look THIS good for a portrait, the volunteer team at The Rose Playhouse call tell you – and there’ll be a complete replica of his outfit for you to check out. 

Find out more: https://www.facebook.com/events/956687813099900/ (or if you don’t use Facebook, visit https://www.trybooking.com/uk/events/landing/70742)

While you’re there… 

The Rose Playhouse itself is a fascinating venue in its own right. One of London’s first purpose-built theatres in London, it opened in 1587 and was hugely successful – with big-name playwrights like Christopher Marlowe and (probably) a young Shakespeare having their plays performed there. 

By the late 1590s, there was competition from newer, fancier theatres like the Globe, and The Rose was abandoned by 1606 and eventually buried under other buildings. 

Fast forward to 1989: archaeologists uncovered its remains beneath an office block, and a huge campaign (led by actors like Judi Dench and Ian McKellen) helped preserve it. Much of the original structure is still buried under the office block, so The Rose Playhouse you visit today consists of the excavated foundations and a small space for performances. There’s also an illuminated outline – a series of red lights installed in the floor – that traces the shape of the original playhouse, which helps you visualise how the theatre was laid out in the 16th century. 

5: See if your child is an art prodigy or just really into glue sticks

Family Welcome Weekend at The National Gallery
Saturday and Sunday, 10:00–17:30
The National Gallery, Trafalgar Square, WC2N 5DN
FREE
National Gallery age guidance: different events are suitable for different ages – see individual listings for more information

Someone needs to update the Wikipedia page for The National Gallery: this new Roden Centre for Creative Learning seems like a pretty big and important deal, yet it isn’t mentioned at all. I mean… the page for the fricking BIBLE was updated a few days ago, and that thing hasn’t changed in centuries. 

The info on The National Gallery’s own website isn’t exactly brimming with minutiae either, so I searched elsewhere and the general gist is that it’s a “new cultural hub that combines creativity, learning, and discovery in one place”, and it will allow visitors “of all ages, backgrounds, and abilities to explore art in new and exciting ways”. (Brief aside: what are our thoughts on that Oxford comma there?) I’m almost itchy with the lack of specifics, but I guess I’ll have to wait until after the opening weekend to discover what the programme of events and activities will be like. 

There’s lots of information about this weekend, thankfully: 

• Storytelling with Preacher the Storyteller: Saturday and Sunday, 13:00–13:40 and 15:00–15:40

• Baroque busking with easel drawing: Saturday and Sunday, 12:00–17:30

• Lute tour: Saturday and Sunday, 12:00–12:50

• Colour lab: Saturday and Sunday, 11:00–13:00 and 14:00–16:00 

• Decoding pictures tour: Saturday and Sunday, 11:00–11:45 and 14:00–14:45

• Find a hat, make a hat: Saturday and Sunday, 10:00–17:30

Everything is free, but space is limited and operates on a first-come, first-served basis – so be sure to race to the stuff you want to do most. 

Find out more: https://www.nationalgallery.org.uk/events/family-welcome-weekendf (The “f” is in the original URL – not my typo!)

While you’re there… 

👍️ Go to The Face exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery! See above for more information.