🎁 13 things to do in London this weekend with the kids (7–8 December)

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Hello there, fellow DiLFs!

This weekend, lots of events and activities are either sold out completely or down to their last few tickets. I haven’t included any of the sold-out events, of course: that would be like presenting you with the world’s cutest puppy and then saying you can’t touch it. That’s just mean. 

But I have included some nearly-sold-out events because there’s a chance you could nab some tickets if you get in there quickly. I’ve also tried to find a few things that are in plentiful supply.  

If you often find that you miss out on the most popular family-friendly things to do in London, you could consider signing up for my “stuff to book now, for the future” newsletter – which is very much a working title. I’m going to start it in the new year, but for now I’d just like to know: 

How old are your children? 

(It’s just a one-question survey! It’ll take five seconds, and your answer will help me suggest the best activities in future.)

Thank you! On with this weekend… 

Jeff xx

PS Here’s an example of an activity you’ll get in the “stuff to book now, for the future” email. If you went last year, you’ll know why it’s so popular. Some dates are fully booked already, and it doesn’t even start until 21 January!

PPS Oh gosh: I’ve just noticed something else! This one-hour family concert is proving to be very popular. Get in there quickly!

1: Get your quill on at Dr Johnson's house of words

Free Family Fun Morning at Dr Johnson's House
Saturday 10:00–11:00 and 11:00–12:00 (two slots available to book)
17 Gough Square, EC4A 3DE
Dr Johnson’s House age guidance: 2–13
FREE – includes snacks and a drink

Advance booking essential. Likely to be fully booked VERY soon!

This is the house where Dr Johnson wrote his famous Dictionary, and I have SO much amazing trivia to share about it.

Oh come on: you could at least try to seem interested! I can almost see your eyes glazing over – like when your kid gives you a detailed account of the time they saw a cloud shaped like a dinosaur. I promise these facts are worth it. Ready? Here goes: 

• The full title of his dictionary is: A dictionary of the English Language: in which the words are deduced from their originals, and illustrated in their different significations by examples from the best writers. To which are prefixed, a history of the language, and an English grammar. 

• Johnson completed the Dictionary within nine years. (FYI the Académie Française supposedly had 40 scholars spending 40 years to complete their dictionary.)

• Only a small proportion of the words on any page are Johnson’s: most of them (around 114,000) are quotations from others. Johnson didn’t pioneer the approach to use quotations as the source of authority for his definitions, but he was the first to use it on such a scale. The authors most frequently cited include Shakespeare, Milton and Dryden.

• Funnily enough, today he’s the second most-quoted Englishman (the #1 spot goes to Spearey McQuillface – or as you like to call him, William Shakespeare). One of Johnson’s most famous is: “... when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life”.

Fascinating, right? And I haven’t even scratched the surface of incredible facts – let alone started discussing some of the bonkers words you may not realise existed. I won’t go on about them here, but let’s just say that I’m dying to use “pissburnt”, “backfriend” and “cynanthropy” in everyday conversation someday soon. 

So, this event. It looks ace. There are word games. There’s a quill and ink for writing practice. There are 18th century costumes for dress-up. There’s a treasure hunt throughout the house (which has retained many of its period features; the front door even has its torturous “anti-burglary” devices intact). There are snacks. There are drinks. And, of course, there are a good few dictionaries. 

Find out more: https://www.drjohnsonshouse.org/post/free-family-fun-at-dr-johnson-s-house 

While you’re there… 

👍️ You’ll be a short walk from the Hunterian Museum, which I’ve never visited but everyone else raves about while making throwy-uppy faces. It’s tucked inside the Royal College of Surgeons, and is a fascinating mix of science, history and weirdness. 

There are over 2,000 anatomical specimens inside – including skeletons, preserved organs and medical tools – and some grisly exhibits on Victorian surgical techniques. Other grossnesses include a necklace of human teeth brought to England by the explorer Henry Morton Stanley, a set of dentures belonging to Winston Churchill, and the foot of an Ancient Egyptian mummy dissected by John Hadley in 1763 – ​​marking the first recorded dissection of a mummy in British history. Relevant extra info from Wikipedia: “For reasons that are unclear, an onion was attached to the foot at some point prior to the dissection.”

2: Immerse yourself in a fairy-tale opera – without the dress code

Wolf Witch Giant Fairy
Curzon Hoxton and Curzon Camden
Saturday 7 December, time TBC
DiL age guidance: various websites recommend 5+ 

I don’t even think I’m grown-up enough for a full-on performance at the Royal Opera House – so there’s no way I’m spending “opera money” on a six-year-old. We’ll wriggle, we’ll complain that we can’t see properly, we’ll need a wee every five seconds, we’ll clap when we’re not meant to clap… it’s just not a good idea. 

So I’m delighted that we can try out a performance in the comfort of our own local cinema instead. We’ll be able to see everything in much more detail, and there’ll be comfortable seats with plenty of leg room. Plus we can have hot dogs rather than oysters on truffled caviar (or whatever they eat at these things), and it’ll be less irksome for others if we pop to the loo every so often. 

Wolf Witch Giant Fairy is a family-friendly folk opera that requires a few commas in its title to make more sense. It intertwines a few classic fairy tales into a single story, with messages about courage, smart thinking and kindness thrown in for some child-appropriate moral lessons. 

Find out more: https://www.rbo.org.uk/tickets-and-events/in-cinemas-wolf-witch-giant-fairy-details 

3: Step into a winter wonderland of floral fantasy

Winter Flowers Week 2024
Saturday and Sunday, 10:00–17:00 (and Thursday, Friday and Monday too)
Garden Museum, Lambeth Palace Road, SE1 7LB
Free with admission ticket: adults £15, children 7–18 £8.50, children 6 and under free)
DiL age guidance: suitable for all

The blurb for this exhibition reads like a buzzword thesaurus exploded on the page. Duuuudes: words like “sustainable” and “immersive” are overused and meaningless. Let. them. go. 

Because seriously: this exhibition can stand on its own two feet, cliche-free. It features five top designers who are turning the Garden Museum into a winter wonderland with their fantastical displays. You’ll find Frida Kim’s delicate, nature-inspired sculptures that look like they belong in a zen garden, and Harriet Parry’s bold, arty creations that could have fallen straight out of an old master’s painting. It’s a different kind of festive celebration, and the photos from last year look incredible. 

Find out more: https://gardenmuseum.org.uk/exhibitions/winter-flowers-week-2024 

4: Share a joyful hour of carols that’s big on Christmas, not formality

Festive Family Carols
Saturday 7 December, 11:00 and 14:00 (plus other dates and times until 23 December)
St Martin-in-the-Fields, Trafalgar Square, WC2N 4JJ
£5–£25 depending on age and seating area
DiL age guidance: suitable for all

Tickets for this weekend are nearly fully booked! 

As you’ll know if you’ve seen my Big London Christmas List of events, carol concerts are sprouting up like there’s some sort of festive turf war. 

Everyone will have their own priorities when it comes to choosing between the options. Some revel in getting their hands on sought-after and expensive tickets to concerts that book up months in advance. Others simply want somewhere close to home. And a fair few will avoid anything that features In the Bleak Midwinter – which is a policy I’m completely on board with. 

My own priorities are complex and rather niche. I want to be in a venue that’s big enough to feel like it’s an event, but not so big that it feels like I’m watching a Royal Variety performance. I want leg room. I don’t want to dress up. I don’t want to have to worry if my kid gets up and dances. I want a mixture of traditional songs and newer stuff. I don’t want to have to wait for hours in an online queue for tickets – and then find that the “restricted view” seats are the only ones left, and they cost £70 each. 

“I want” normally doesn’t get. But I got! For the past many years, my family and I have attended Festive Family Carols at St Martin-in-the-Fields, and we love it. 

In previous years, they’ve given out plastic reindeer antlers to the children as we enter – which gets everyone in the mood immediately. Kids can get up and dance in the aisles, and it all genuinely feels warm, friendly and Christmassy. Some people are dressed up in what I guess I’d call their “Sunday Best”, while others (like my own family) are in muddied tracksuit bottoms, penguin jumpers and bright green wellies. 

It’s easy (or at least easier) to get tickets, and you won’t have to dip into your life savings to buy them. I recommend: it’s the best. 

Find out more: https://www.stmartin-in-the-fields.org/calendar/festive-family-carols-12/ 

While you’re there… 

👍️ If there’s ever a time to go to Cafe in the Crypt, it’s now. Everything about it is cosy and Christmassy – from the mulled wine and hearty meals to the multiple Christmas trees and grand brick-vaulted ceiling. It’s also lined with tombstones, which is interesting but possibly less festive. 

The food tends to be Brit-tastic: pie, roast chicken, chips, apple pie, Victoria sponge, etc. And it’s all served canteen-style – but please don’t mistake this as a synonym for “cheap”. 

👍️ I mentioned this one in last week’s newsletter, but seeing as you’re in the area already… the National Portrait Gallery’s annual Taylor Wessing Photo Portrait Prize is showing at the moment, and this year’s feels particularly provocative. That’s a euphemism for “please take a look at first prize and third prize before you turn up with your kids”.

5: Sing, dance and feast with a live orchestra in a beer hall

Basement Orchestra Christmas Show
Sunday 8 December, 14:30–15:15
Big Penny Social, 1 Priestley Way, E17 6AL
Adults £14.04, under-18s £9.04, under-2s free
DiL age guidance: suitable for all

Get in there quick! Tickets are almost sold out, and you may have to join the waitlist. 

This show has it all: a bonkers mash-up of Nutcracker classics, pop Christmas numbers, and carols galore. If it were a Spotify playlist, it’d have to be called “Songs that have the words ‘snow’ and ‘Jesus’ in them” – because that’s really all these tunes have in common. 

What makes it even weirder is that you’ll be singing and dancing along in a MASSIVE beer hall with tons of merry people, and the music will be performed by a 50-piece live orchestra and their “choir of angels”. 

The Basement Orchestra is perfectly accustomed to playing everything from David Bowie to Mozart within the same music festival – so I like to think you’ll be in experienced hands when they weave their way through classical music, hymns and pop. 

Tickets to this event are MUCH cheaper than other carol concerts and Christmas shows; I imagine that’s because you’re expected to load up on food and drink while you’re there, which is another big plus if you ask me. They even have a kids’ roast for just £7 available on Sundays. 

Find out more: https://bigpennysocial.co.uk/whats-on/basement-orchestra-christmas-show 

While you’re there…

👍️ If you need some time to decompress after all the partying, head to Walthamstow Wetlands – a collection of reservoirs that are the main source of water supply for 3.5 million people, as well as an internationally important nature reserve that provides home and shelter to a range of wildlife. It’s a beautiful and peaceful area to visit, with plenty of walking paths and lots of bird-spotting to be had. Check out these photos for an idea of what it’s like. 

Bonuses!

Funny to think how, back in April, it was often so hard to find even five good-quality activities. Come November/December and this city is swimming in them. 

👍️ Concerto Italiano is performing Monteverdi's Madrigals at the Southbank Centre on Sunday (age guidance: 7+). Perfect if your child has opinions on harpsichord tuning and thinks Let It Go lacks harmonic complexity.

👍️ The Amplify Human Rights Festival is on at Woolwich Works on Saturday, featuring creative workshops, poetry and family-friendly activities. It’s a good occasion to remind them that some freedoms matter more than playing Minecraft after dinner.

👍️ Charlie Cook’s Favourite Book is on at the Trafalgar Theatre (all weekend), because Julia Donaldson is omnipresent. If you can’t go this weekend, it’s playing until early January. 

👍️ Join the Polka Theatre for its annual fundraising Big Bash on Sunday, with face painting, glitter tattoos, balloon artists, a silent disco and a visit from Santa. You’ll also be able to enjoy a festive buffet (including bubbles for the adults) and admission to one of Polka’s winter productions – The Nutcracker or The Snowy Day. 

👍️ The Festive Fayre at Hampton Court Palace (all weekend) features artisan shopping, festive food and drink, and bite-size carols. 

👍️ Go on a hot chocolate trail at Spitalfields market (all weekend) and enjoy 14 chocolate-inspired treats – from Nutella-filled pizza to Middle Eastern s’mores. Kids can grab a trail map, hunt for hidden chocolates around the market, and share the magic word to claim their sweet surprises.

👍️ Attend a hands-on Sashiko Repair workshop in Greenwich on Saturday, and learn the traditional art of mending clothes with embroidered patches.

👍️ Head to the King’s Cross Illustrators’ Festive Fayre on Saturday to check out “artwork from the finest local independent artists” and “discover a treasure trove of prints, cards, zines and more”.