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🪐 5 things to do in London this weekend with the kids (31 August–1 September)

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Jeff – Dads in London
August 28, 2024

Hey DiLFs!

OH NO! It seems many of London’s venues have decided not to bother with family activities this weekend. Maybe we’re all supposed to be in Westfield instead, panic-buying PE kits and novelty pencil cases?

That might be what we should be doing, but it’s not going to happen in my household because it sounds like hell and Amazon exists. So instead, I’ve plumbed the deepest depths of the internet, spoken to a bunch of “in the know” people, and muted the school WhatsApp group because I don’t want to be discussing lunchboxes when it’s still August. And you know what? I think I’ve pulled it off: this is a GREAT list of things to do if you don’t need to be queuing up in Smiths for a Pritt Stick and some ring binders. 

Enjoy! 

Jeff xx

Summer in the Park, in Brent Cross Town
Every day until 29 September (with different events and activities each day)
Brent Cross Town Pavilion, 145 Claremont Road, NW2 1FE
FREE

You’d think London would have run out of space by now. But somehow, they’ve found enough of it (180 acres, to be exact) to create an entire blimmin’ town in Zone 3. It’s called Brent Cross Town, and it has a brand new Thameslink station, two massive parks (the Exploratory Park in particular looks INCREDIBLE for kids), coffee shops, restaurants, lots and lots of flats, and an indoor sports complex with so many facilities that it could be our next Olympics venue. 

It’s also where “Summer in the Park” has been taking place since June. This is probably the thirty thousandth Summer in the Park we’ve had in London this year, because we’re blessed with lots of park festivals but not much imagination when it comes to naming them. 

The Brent Cross Town version of Summer in the Park has a series of free events and activities inspired by the Olympics (see?! They'd planned it from the start!), and this weekend you can try skateboarding lessons, baseball, table tennis and “Beat the Goalie”. You also must check out the art installation they’ve been pushing desperately all season, because I fear someone on the marketing team will lose their job if not enough people visit it. (It’s a maze and, tbf, it does look fun.)

Even if you and your family have already overexerted yourselves in Olympics-inspired events this summer, it’s worth going just to see what a brand new town can look like. 

While you’re there… 

👍️ The first time I tried to find Topsy Turvy World at the back of Brent Cross, I wound up on a ring-shaped, vehicles-only road with a pram while cars honked in what I’ve convinced myself was empathy. The second time was no better, and I don’t know what’s wrong with me because the location instructions (which are on the website) are embarrassingly simple.

If you’re less navigationally challenged than me, I highly recommend this venue. It’s a humongous multi-storey soft play area with slides and tunnels galore – plus one of those vacuum thingammies that launches balls into the air and never gets old. Children aged 3 and under have their own play area, and grown-ups can either join in the fun or relax in the cafe. 

A Shaun the Sheep Movie: Farmageddon
Saturday 31 August, 18:30–20:00 (but doors open at 17:45 for science demos and questions)
Royal Observatory, Blackheath Avenue, SE10 8XJ
Adults ÂŁ10, children ÂŁ5

The London Observatory doesn’t say why it’s decided to screen a Shaun the Sheep film in its super-high-tech planetarium, but I’m more than down for the incongruity of the situation. It’s like meditating at a football match, or reading a limerick at a parole hearing. Brilliant.  

Farmaggedon is about Shaun's adventure with Lu-La the alien-child. Together they navigate mishaps, evade authorities and create chaos, all while trying to send Lu-La home. Before the film starts, there’ll be a set of interactive demos and activities by the astronomers at the Royal Observatory. And – most excitingly – you and your children can ask them all your questions about space and astronomy.

Again, I’m not sure why they’ve shoved a film about a sheep into the proceedings, but it sounds jolly fun regardless. 

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And remember: if you refer just ONE person, you’ll get my free download of year-round activities and venues that are always great for kids. 

3: Go to the moon with a delightful (I think) puppet show

Moonsmile at Little Angel Studios
Saturday and Sunday, 11:00 and 14:00
Little Angel Studios, Sebbon Street, N1 2EH
Adults £14, children (1–17) £12

If you don’t like spoilers and you’re mad because I gave too much away about Farmageddon, you’re in luck when it comes to the latest production from Little Angel Theatre. My summary of the show will leave you definitely clueless and hopefully intrigued. 

Moonsmile is about a lonely museum caretaker who loses something and ends up on the moon to find it. He does indeed get it back (through “a ritual of trust and friendship” with the Moonlings) and then returns to earth to rediscover “all that was hidden”. This info is all based on the website’s event description, which is like a series of riddles that I’m not intelligent enough to solve. 

What I can grasp (because it’s written explicitly on the website) is that it’s a non-verbal performance that blends “music with movement, puppetry, play and mask”. And tbh that’s enough information to make me hit the “book” button – the clincher being 40 minutes of no words being spoken by anyone. 

While you’re there… 

👍️ Milner Square Playground isn’t anything spectacular, but it’s a cute, quiet space with equipment suitable for a variety of ages. 

👍️ Head to Udderlicious for incredible ice cream flavours – such as salted vanilla cookie dough, dragon fruit & banana, malt & crushed Maltesers, and Biscoff & honeycomb. There’s also plenty for the vegans. 

👍️ Megan’s restaurant raises the bar when it comes to children’s food. This Turkish mini-chain has menus for both “little kids” (ÂŁ3.90) and “big kids” (ÂŁ4.50), with meals such as “mini brunch” (scrambled egg, broccoli, sourdough toast and halloumi) and flatbread pizza. 

4: Meet real-life mudlarkers and see what they’ve dug up

Mudlarking and Heritage Crafts Festival 2024
Saturday 31 August, 09:00–17:00
Southwark Cathedral, SE1 9DA
Adults £5, children 0–18 free

The word “mudlark” is brilliant, isn’t it? It’s a sort of zany-but-almost-literal job title, of which there are very few in life. Although… hmm… actually that’s not true. “Hairdresser” is pretty darn on the nose; ditto “firefighter” and “lifeguard” – which are all also varying degrees of quirky. 

I guess there’s also “dish washer”, “lifeguard” and “caretaker”...? “I could go on with ideas, but I’m looking into the future and seeing you gesturing me to hurry up about this event. 

First, some background info: a mudlark is someone who scavenges the banks and shores of rivers for items of value. Mudlarking was a way to scrape together a living in the 18th and 19th centuries, but it still exists today – albeit with more sanitary river conditions, and usually as a hobby than as a way to survive. 

This Mudlarking and Heritage Crafts Festival looks like a fun way to spend a few hours: you’ll be able to meet mudlarks and chat about the artefacts they’ve discovered, and ask archaeologists, antiquarians and conservationists if they created a keyboard shortcut for their job titles. 

The festival also focuses on many of the crafts that were used to build London, and there are plenty of fascinating workshops presented by modern craftspeople so you can see how it’s done. You can learn about blacksmithing and coppersmithing; dyeing, weaving and spinning; stone and wood carving; bookmaking; “flint knapping” (which I had to look up); and lots more. 

In addition to all that, you get to do some crafting of your own. Create your own pomanders (balls made of perfume) in the herb garden; learn the ancient craft of knot-tying; make a decorated clay tile or medieval figure; and create a river fish puppet. 

While you’re there… 

👍️ Grab the 21, 43 or 141 and take a three-minute bus journey to Guildhall – where there’s a genuine Roman amphitheatre in the basement (discovered in 1988 while digging in preparation for re-building the gallery). It’s open every day for you to stand where crowds would have gathered to watch animal fights, public executions and gladiatorial combats. 

This weekend there’s something extra going on in the amphitheatre: a mudlarking exhibition. (I can’t figure out if this is a massive coincidence of not.) You’ll have the rare opportunity to see and hold personal items lost by Romans who lived in London, which were then discovered by mudlarks over 1,600 years later. These mudlarks will be in the amphitheatre to show off their private collections and – I hope – share their stories of life on the banks.

The shoes that made me believe in love at first step (part-advert, part-love story)

Back in 2019, I listened to an interview with the Allbirds cofounders. By the end of it, they’d convinced me that Allbirds shoes would be the most comfortable things I’d ever wear, that I’d never suffer from sweaty feet again, and that I should really start caring about sustainable materials (which, it turns out, are better for tootsies anyway).

So, in a rare moment of impulsivity, I bought a pair of their best-selling Tree Runners. When they arrived, I put them on and – I kid you not – I actually moaned. In comfort. In serenity. Maybe even in love? It was like walking on clouds

And then, because I’m me, I returned them.

Why? Because I’d somehow managed to choose a colour so horrible that it shouldn’t legally be allowed to exist. Thankfully, Allbirds’ customer service folks were an utter joy when I swapped them out for a much safer grey/white pair, which I’ve been happily wearing ever since.

But I’m already planning for the future, and when it’s finally time to replace them (which, let’s be honest, might be a while since these things last forever), I’ve got my eyes on the white Tree Pipers. Not only do they look great on Ben Affleck, but I’m hoping they’ll give me just a tiny fraction of his coolness (minus the complicated love life and that awful back tattoo).

So, why am I going on about Allbirds?

Because these shoes are pretty much perfect. Depending on the style, they’re made from either the wool of happy Kiwi sheep or sustainably sourced tree fibres. Plus, their whole ethical practices thing isn’t just a trendy add-on – it’s built into their company DNA.

The shoes go with everything, they’ve survived five years of my abuse (and counting), they’re machine washable, and – I can’t stress this enough – they’re ridiculously comfortable.

Allbirds doesn’t really do discount codes, but honestly, they don’t need to. They’re pretty reasonably priced, ranging from £70ish to £115ish depending on the style, and you’ll get years out of them. Heads-up: the popular colours tend to sell out fast, so if you see a pair you love, you might want to grab them before someone else does.

So check out the entire Allbirds collection and find your perfect pair before they’re gone. But maybe think twice before impulse-buying a brown-and-yellow (or “poo and wee”) pair like I did. Or don’t – no judgement here.

Tower Hamlets Cemetery Park Summer Community Fair
Saturday 31 August, 12:00–17:00
Southern Grove, E3 4PX
FREE (you can reserve a spot on Eventbrite, but I think it’ll be fine if you don’t)

A summer fair in a cemetery? Whatever next? A beach party in a cathedral? Therapy sessions in a nightclub? A film about a plasticine sheep in a universe-revealing celestial dome?

Actually, a summer fair among dead people is kind of genius. Tower Hamlets Cemetery Park is a stunning place with an interesting history, and this is a great way for people to see and appreciate it. 

The offering is fairly run-of-the-mill: food and drinks stalls, handmade crafts, activities, workshops, face painting and hair braiding. While nothing implies the organisers have engaged in extensive ideation and strategic brainstorming sessions to ensure this event is distinctive and differentiated, the location is unique – and that’s the main selling point. 

A brief word on the name of this thing, because it’s SUCH a missed opportunity. Organisers: if you’re reading this, I plead with you to replace “Summer Fair” with “Headstone Hoedown” or “Graveyard Gala”. Visitor numbers will go through the roof. 

While you’re there… 

👍️ If you can be bothered to travel for about 20 minutes on the sauna-like, ear-splitting Central Line, you can check out Sculpture in the City – which is on every day, for free, until Spring 2025. It’s a selection of public artworks from internationally acclaimed and emerging artists, which are plonked in various locations around the City every summer. 

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