🎁 12 things to do in London this weekend with the kids (30 November–1 December)

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Hello DiLFs! 

Quick question to help me plan ahead for Christmas: will you be in London over the festive period? 

Thank you! Now on with this weekend! 

Jeff xx

1: Jam with the musicians, then watch them do it properly

The Multi-Story Orchestra: Bottled Up
Sunday 1 December, 12:00–13:30
Queen Elizabeth Hall, Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX
£8 per person
Southbank Centre age guidance: suitable for all 

Hurry: only a few tickets left!

You know those immersive theatrical experiences where you, the audience members, are part of the show? Like that one where you’re the guests at a wedding, and the bride and groom get into all sorts of ridiculous situations while you’re trying to enjoy the roast veal? 

I feel like this orchestral show is similar – in the way that lots of things are similar if you really think hard about it. The performance will start as soon as you enter the foyer: musicians will be putting on short, interactive shows that explore different aspects of the music, and audience members are invited to “get involved” – although detail is lacking in how far one can take this instruction. 

After you’ve tried to harmonise or do some boots-and-cats-ing with the professionals, you’ll be led into the hall and seated – at which point the people you saw in the foyer will burst out on stage and perform (this time without your input). 

To get more of a sense of what they’re like, check out their Facebook page. 

While you’re there… 

👍️ If you want to stick around at the Southbank Centre, you can go to see Santtu & Jess Gillam – an afternoon classical concert featuring the Philharmonia Orchestra and guest soloist Jess Gillam, a star saxophonist who’s only been alive for 20-something years and already has an MBE, a Classical BRIT, her own show on BBC Radio 3 and many other things that make me feel like I’ve finally experienced what ennui is like.

The programme consists of what Chat GPT assures me is “a blend of saxophone brilliance, a Soviet satirical operetta, and iconic ballet music”. It’s as varied as these things come, and is advertised as suitable for anyone aged 7 or older. 

2: Check out a portrait award that might be a bit much

Taylor Wessing Photo Portrait Prize 2024
Saturday 10:30–21:00, Sunday 10:30–18:00
National Portrait Gallery, St Martin's Place, WC2H 0HE
Adults £8.50, children 12–18 £4.25, under-12s free
Dads in London age guidance: 5+ (but read the information below)

“Hang on,” I hear you ask. “Haven’t we just had a portrait exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery?” To which I will say, “Check YOU out with your observational skills! Yes: we have just had a portrait exhibition at the NPG. But that one was the Portrait Award – for paintings of people. This one is the Photo Portrait Prize – for photos of people.” (I’m guessing one is an award and one is a prize to make them sound as different as possible, within very limited parameters.)

What we’ve all learned here is that when a gallery niches down to “portraits”, each exhibition is going to seem quite deja-vuey. What I’ve personally learned is that it’s more lucrative to be a portrait award winner than a photo portrait award winner: £35,000 vs £15,000. 

I should probably talk about the exhibition itself now. The photo that received first prize is something you’ll want to look at before you take your kids. Third prize is also quite sensitive – beautiful, but probably not suitable for all children. Ditto a whole bunch of others (see a few of them here). As always, it’s a fascinating and thought-provoking collection of photos, but this year it seems particularly… provocative, I guess? 

3: Enjoy the best bits of Christmas, all in one spot

The Royal Arsenal Winter Festival
Saturday 30 November, 12:00
Woolwich Works, The Fireworks Factory, 11 No. 1 Street, SE18 6HD
FREE
DiL age guidance: suitable for all

I’ve been doing Dads in London for about seven months now, which means I've researched, visited and written about a LOT of festivals and fairs. And I’m now at a point where I can figure out in advance – from the event descriptions alone – which ones will be worth the faff. 

This one seems faff-worthy. You can tell just by the fact that there are specific details about what’ll be happening on the day, with actual time slots allocated to certain activities. Organised Festival That’s Been Well Thought Through Alert! 

Also, the list of things to do looks fab. The farmers’ market features street food, local produce and handmade arts & crafts – which tbf is the same as all other Christmas markets. But there’s more – such as the Christmas Crafternoon, where you can make items like your own gingerbread house bunting and a gingerbread family greetings card. And there’s also Gingerbread Greenwich – an “edible exhibition” of gingerbread buildings and candy-lined streets in a “mouthwatering metropolis”.

You can listen to festive carols in the square outside Woolwich Works, while younger children will enjoy the Christmassy tunes from toddler-approved musicians Boppin’ Bunnies. Santa may or may not be making an appearance (my money’s on him being there), and there’s the Christmas tree light-up ceremony towards the end of the afternoon.

4: Find Christmas gifts that no algorithm could ever suggest

Beautiful & Useful Craft Fair 2024
Sunday 1 December, 10:00–16:00
Garden Museum, Lambeth Palace Road, SE1 7LB
£5 per person
DiL age guidance: suitable for all

At this time of year, I’ll accept that there’s another Jeff who’s more important to you than I am. Mr Bezos is a lifesaver at Christmas, and I totally understand all the love and money that are flowing in his direction right now. 

But you have to admit that – while “Amazon Jeff” can sort you out with a Lego Darth Vader, some crossword toilet paper and a mug that says “Definitely Not Vodka 😜” – you’re screwed if you want something unique and meaningful. 

And this is where I, “The Jeff Who Doesn’t Have a $500m Superyacht”, can help in my capacity as the messenger angel to tell you about the country’s best Christmas fair. It’s called the Beautiful & Useful Craft Fair, and I really don’t think “country’s best” is hyping it up too much. It contains a “curated collection of Britain’s best designer-makers selling bold, bohemian and thoroughly beautiful handmade ceramics, textiles, art prints, jewellery, and homewares”. 

Exhibitors include: 

• The Curious Makers: mechanical toys and velvet toadstool decorations

• Jack Wheeler Woodcraft: hand-carved, Japanese-inspired bowls, trays and spoons

• Richard Pomeroy: porcelain mugs in all colours imaginable
  Jill Pargeter: arts-and-crafts-inspired linen figures, keepsakes and lampshades

• Jane Bevan: objects, vessels and collage from found natural materials

• Fleurs de Circe: wax-dipped flower papers
  Maude Made: illustrated tea towels and tiles celebrating varieties of wildflowers, tulips, fruit and vegetables 

• Harriet St Leger: copper and silver enamelled jewellery, inspired by buds, leaves and seeds, fruit and vegetables. 

• Many more! The list of exhibitors is available on the website. 

There’ll also be two craft workshops (which cost extra): bauble-making and embossed tin decorations. And it’ll all take place in the beautiful surroundings of the Garden Museum. 

While you’re there… 

👍️ Visit the Imperial War Museum down the road, which is completely free to enter. As well as all the permanent and temporary exhibitions, there’s a family drop-in activity every weekend called Story Seekers; check the Story Seekers page for more information because the topic/activity changes frequently.

👍️ Just across the river, Victoria Tower Gardens is a charming park that provides fantastic views of both the Houses of Parliament and the Thames. It’s known for “The Burghers of Calais” – a sculpture celebrating freedom by August Rodin. Equally famous is the statue of suffragette Emmeline Parkhurst, which stands in the shadow of Victoria Tower. You’ll also be pleased to know there’s an award-winning playground at one end, which comes with a stream of water you can pump yourself, a sandpit, a shaky bridge, wobbly boat and swings. 

5: Get festive at the easiest weekend activity you’ll do all year

Leaf Day
Saturday 30 November, from 9:00 (all day)
Inspire Saint James Clerkenwell, Saint James Church, Clerkenwell Close, EC1R 0EA
FREE
DiL age guidance: suitable for all (but most suitable for under-8s)

If this were an activity held by an art gallery or theatre, the description would go on for days – and we still wouldn’t know what it’s actually about. Saint James Church, however, has a different way of doing things…

“Join us as we decorate the church, ready for the Advent season. You are welcome to join at anytime, with lunch and some snacks provided.” Done. 

That’s pretty much all you need to know: it’s one of the easiest weekend activities you can have with your kids, and you don’t even need to worry if you left the Mini Cheddars at home. 

The church is located in Clerkenwell – arguably one of the prettiest parts of London. The roads and squares look like a film set, and even the street lights are beautiful. There are old-school pubs galore, and Exmouth Market (which is a small street – not really a market as such) is just around the corner. 

While you’re there… 

👍️ Head to Exmouth Market for lunch, cake, coffee and/or something stronger: there are tons of charming little restaurants, cafes and bars on this cute little road in Clerkenwell. Here’s a quick walk-through video of the road. 

Bonus events this week!

👍️ In last week’s battle of the Scandi Christmas fairs we had Sweden vs Denmark. This week we have Finland vs Norway – but this time you can visit both fairs in one go, because they’re next to each other. (To any pedants who insist that Finland isn’t part of Scandinavia, you can just reframe it as a battle of the Nordic Christmas fairs instead.)

👍️ Museum of the Home has a Yard Sale, which looks suspiciously like a(nother) Christmas fair to me. 

👍️ Spend a festive Sunday at the Foundling Museum, with gingerbread decorating (14:00–16:00) and a piano performance (15:00–16:30). 

👍️ The Barbican is putting on the London Symphony Orchestra Family Concert, which uses “use children’s classics from Hairy Maclary to Matilda, alongside works by Mozart, Bartók and Elgar, to show that music can be just as powerful as words in bringing a story to life”. There are also free workshops before the performance. Sounds amazing, right? One problem: it’s now sold out, and I’m so annoyed I couldn’t share it with you earlier!

The same goes with the Multi-Story Orchestra (above): by the time you receive this, I have a feeling it’ll be fully booked. But this newsletter is about helping people plan their upcoming weekend – not months in advance.

So I’d love to know…

👍️ Buy some original art at the Orleans House Gallery Winter Show – where all the landscapes, portraits, abstract works, ceramics and bronze works have been created by people in the borough. 

👍️ It’s the Ideal Home Show Christmas! There’s lots to do and watch, and many ways to spend a fortune. 

👍️ Give gilding a go and create your very own Christmas decoration at the Cutty Sark’s Christmas decoration gilding workshops.