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- 🧦 5 things to do in London this weekend with the kids (28–29 December)
🧦 5 things to do in London this weekend with the kids (28–29 December)
Jeff – Dads in London
December 26, 2024
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Merry Christmas!!!
Nice presents?
Decent stuffing?
Oven intact?
Suitably cringey cracker jokes?
An appropriate number of intra-family arguments?
Good good!
On with this weekend!
Enjoy,
Jeff xx
The Gingerbread City
Saturday and Sunday, 10:00–18:00
The Gaumont, Chelsea, 196–222 King's Road, SW3 5XP
Adults and 13+ £13, children (3–12) £8, under 12s free
DiL age guidance: suitable for all
Every year, some of the most prominent and influential architects and designers get into the festive spirit by creating houses, schools, museums, cinemas, office blocks and green spaces out of gingerbread, smarties, chocolate fingers and more.
It’s always been a Christmas highlight for my kids and me, but we missed it this time because it’s moved to Chelsea – which is practically in a different timezone from where we live. So rather than grin and bear the extra journey time, I decided to stomp my feet and refuse to get tickets instead.
It’s open for just one more weekend (I would have told you about it earlier, but I was too busy cutting off my nose to spite my face), so – if you’re around – I highly recommend it. The creations are absolutely beautiful, and you’ll be amazed by what can be done with some random confectionery.
Find out more: https://www.thegingerbreadcity.com/
While you’re there…
👍️ Chelsea Physic Garden is a short walk away (note: it’s not open on Saturdays). The four-acre space been around since 1673, and is home to over 4,500 medicinal, edible and useful plants.
👍️ The Saatchi Gallery is also very close by. It’s slightly newer than the Physic Garden (understatement: it was opened in 1985) and specialises in exhibitions featuring contemporary art and artists. The Battle for Lobsteropolis looks particularly bonkers/interesting.
👍️ The National Army Museum is the reason I last traipsed to this part of the world, and it was definitely worth it. The place is incredibly family-friendly, and the items have been curated in a really clever, thoughtful way.
Elf
Saturday and Sunday, 11:00
The Garden Cinema, 39–41 Parker Street, WC2B 5PQ
Pay what you can
Film age guidance: PG
Common Sense Media age guidance: 8+
I’ve never seen Elf. Shocked? Horrified? Then you might want to cover your eyes before I tell you that I also haven’t seen WARNING TO COVER YOUR EYES NOW!!! The Godfather, Shawshank Redemption, Schindler’s List, Citizen Kane, Back to the Future, The Breakfast Club, Pulp Fiction, Fight Club or The Princess Bride. And I slept through Taxi Driver. I’ve seen Love Actually, though; it was fine.
So, Elf. It’s a Christmas classic, everyone must see it, it’s magical and hilarious, bla bla bla. I have no doubt all that is completely true, and one day I’ll get around to watching it.
You can almost certainly stream it on your telly, but nothing beats the experience of watching a Christmas film on the big screen, surrounded by others who are feeling as festive as you are. Especially if that big screen is situated inside The Garden Cinema, which is one of London’s most beautiful and classy cinemas.
Four additional reasons to watch Elf at The Garden Cinema:
1: It’s “pay what you can”.
2: After the Sunday screening, there’ll be a free children’s activity.
3: There are no adverts – which means the film really does start at the stated time.
4: Coffee, soft drinks and even wine are reasonably priced. And the coffee is by Vagabond, which is one of the best roasters in London if you ask me. Gosh that sounded pretentious.
Find out more: https://www.thegardencinema.co.uk/film/elf/
While you’re there…
👍️ You’re temptingly close to Sir John Soane’s Museum (totally free to visit) – a bewildering place that’ll make you feel better about your own living room clutter. It’s the former house of architect John Soane, who effectively donated it to the nation after his death because he despised his son and didn’t want him to inherit anything.
The house is pretty much as Soane left it – and yes, that includes the sarcophagus in the basement, the hundreds of sculptures, and the innumerable Chinese ceramics, Greek vases and Roman glasses. If you’re a neat freak, you’ll self-combust.
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3: Do panto before it’s too late
I always wondered why panto is a Christmas thing when the stories aren’t seasonal. Turns out it dates back to Italian slapstick street theatre in the 16th century, but really took hold in the UK in the 1700s – when theatres used the festive break to stage big, family-friendly shows that could pull in crowds while everyone was off work. They drew on familiar folk tales and fairy tales, so audiences didn’t need much explanation to dive straight into the fun.
Over time, pantos added more comedy, music, artistic licence and “He’s behind you!!” and it became a cultural event that felt tied to Christmas. Much like Brazil nuts, dates, paper chains and James Bond films. (Whyyyyyy? It’s so weird!)
And because panto doesn’t need to be seen before Christmas, most productions continue after the Big Day. Here’s a selection of the shows you can see this weekend:
Saturday 28 December, 14:30 and 19:30
Wilton’s Music Hall, Graces Alley, E1 8JB
£16–£33 depending on seats
Wilton’s Music Hall age guidance: 6+
Seven pantos for the price of one, in 80 minutes of pure chaos: actors racing through stories, dodging disasters and cramming in every fairy tale twist they can find.
Saturday at 14:00 and 18:00, and Sunday at 13:30 and 17:30
Lyric Hammersmith Theatre, Lyric Square, King Street, W6 0QL
£15–£49 depending on seats
Lyric age guidance: 6+
Aladdin’s rolling into Hammersmith – and he’s bringing the chaos with him. He’s a local chancer from Shepherd’s Bush, “helping” (not helping) at his mum’s launderette. When he crosses paths with Jasmine – a sharp-witted orphan with bigger plans – things get lively. Throw in a power-hungry stepdad and a genie with a flair for the dramatic, and you’ve got a proper panto mix-up. Expect dance battles, live music, and enough magic to keep everyone glued.
Saturday at 14:00 and 19:00, and Sunday at 13:00 and 17:30
New Wimbledon Theatre, 93 The Broadway, SW19 1QG
£13–£129 depending on seats
DiL age guidance: 10+ (based on reviews)
There’ll be lots of fee-fi-fo-fumming, a fair amount of slapstick and – according to some reviews from previous years – a few lewd-ish jokes (so be warned!).
Saturday at 14:00 and 18:00, and Sunday at 13:30 and 17:30
King’s Head Theatre, 116 Upper Street, N1 1QN
£25–£45 depending on age and seats (children under 3 go free)
King’s Head Theatre age guidance: all ages welcome
Cinderella’s getting a North London glow-up at the King’s Head – and yes, that is the voice of Dame Judi Dench you’re hearing. Cinders is stuck scrubbing away for her selfish stepsisters (called Peckham and Dalston, naturally) until a Fairy Godmother shows up to sort her life out.
There’s a shy prince in need of a confidence boost, a disco ball, and Buttons with his duck sidekick, Quackers. Expect big laughs, chaotic charm, and a proper festive knees-up – all squeezed into one of London’s most intimate theatres.
Saturday at 13:30 and 18:00, and Sunday at 13:00 and 17:30
Hackney Empire,, 291 Mare Street,, E8 1EJ
£32.20–£46.20(ish) depending on age and seats (children under 3 go free)
Hackney Empire age guidance: suitable for all
Follow Dick on his quest for fame, fortune, and a fresh start – complete with battles against rats, a love story, and a shot at becoming the Mayor of London. It’s a reimagining of the classic rags-to-riches tale with all the usual panto chaos: extravagant costumes, audience shout-outs, and enough song and dance numbers to prevent even the tiredest of parents from falling asleep.
The shoes that made me believe in love at first step (part-advert, part-love story)
Back in 2019, I listened to an interview with the Allbirds cofounders. By the end of it, they’d convinced me that Allbirds shoes would be the most comfortable things I’d ever wear, that I’d never suffer from sweaty feet again, and that I should really start caring about sustainable materials (which, it turns out, are better for tootsies anyway).
So, in a rare moment of impulsivity, I bought a pair of their best-selling Tree Runners. When they arrived, I put them on and – I kid you not – I actually moaned. In comfort. In serenity. Maybe even in love? It was like walking on clouds
And then, because I’m me, I returned them.
Why? Because I’d somehow managed to choose a colour so horrible that it shouldn’t legally be allowed to exist. Thankfully, Allbirds’ customer service folks were an utter joy when I swapped them out for a much safer grey/white pair, which I’ve been happily wearing ever since.
But I’m already planning for the future, and when it’s finally time to replace them (which, let’s be honest, might be a while since these things last forever), I’ve got my eyes on the white Tree Pipers. Not only do they look great on Ben Affleck, but I’m hoping they’ll give me just a tiny fraction of his coolness (minus the complicated love life and that awful back tattoo).
So, why am I going on about Allbirds?
Because these shoes are pretty much perfect. Depending on the style, they’re made from either the wool of happy Kiwi sheep or sustainably sourced tree fibres. Plus, their whole ethical practices thing isn’t just a trendy add-on – it’s built into their company DNA.
The shoes go with everything, they’ve survived five years of my abuse (and counting), they’re machine washable, and – I can’t stress this enough – they’re ridiculously comfortable.
Allbirds doesn’t really do discount codes, but honestly, they don’t need to. They’re pretty reasonably priced, ranging from £70ish to £115ish depending on the style, and you’ll get years out of them. Heads-up: the popular colours tend to sell out fast, so if you see a pair you love, you might want to grab them before someone else does.
So check out the entire Allbirds collection and find your perfect pair before they’re gone. But maybe think twice before impulse-buying a brown-and-yellow (or “poo and wee”) pair like I did. Or don’t – no judgement here.
Socks: The Art of Care and Repair
Saturday 10:00–17:00 and Sunday 11:00–16:00 (plus other dates until 6 March)
NOW Gallery, The Gateway Pavilions, Peninsula Square, Greenwich Peninsula, SE10 0SQ
FREE
DiL age guidance: suitable for all
I sometimes think art galleries take advantage of our need to be highbrow deep thinkers: they’ll take our money for a banal and lazy exhibition, and we’ll ooh and aah over things we don’t understand while trying to eavesdrop on the enlightened comments from visitors around us.
Originally, I was convinced that Socks: The Art of Care and Repair – which showcases “488 socks, each stitched and darned by the Surrey Square Primary School community” – was a perfect example of this. To clarify: not only are we meant to stand around looking at socks (SOCKS!), but we’re also expected to ignore how they cleverly outsourced the repair work to a bunch of school kids. Yet we suck it up because of our bonkers desire for cultural cachet.
Except… maybe this isn’t entirely fair. Socks has been created by a textile artist called Celia Pym, who really does know her stuff about how to repair those stinky little foot cocoons. She’s transformed the gallery into a creative workshop space, and you’re encouraged to bring along your own socks to repair. (There’ll be interactive videos and step-by-step guidelines to help.) Which all sounds lovely.
But then I read Pym explaining that, “Mending builds on what is left behind, it is an action that adds to the thing in front of you. It doesn’t erase damage, but makes the story more interesting. A spot of bright colour, or a scar line, that indicates an act of care.” And I start shouting “IT’S A GRIFT!” all over again. If she’d just left it at “It’s better to fix socks than buy new ones,” I’d have been fine.
Anyway! It’s free, so I guess I can’t be too cynical about it. And the pictures look great. And it’s a fun way to spend time with your kids AND teach them a new skill AND avoid needing to buy new socks.
While you’re there…
👍️ The Greenwich Peninsula cable car station is very nearby. If you’ve been on any world-famous cable car rides like Sugarloaf Mountain or Mont Blanc, you may be underwhelmed. Luckily, I haven’t, so I think our little London cable car is wonderful.
Keeping Time: Clocks by Boulle
Saturday and Sunday, 10:00–17:00 (and daily until 2 March)
The Wallace Collection, Hertford House, Manchester Square, W1U 3BN
FREE
DiL age guidance: suitable for all
Do you know the Woody Allen joke about two old women on holiday? One of them says, “Boy, the food at this place is really terrible.” The other one says, “Yeah, I know. And such small portions.”
When I first read about this exhibition on clocks, that’s exactly how I felt. “Clocks?? How utterly boring! Who wants to see a bunch of clocks? And only FIVE bloomin’ clocks? What’s the point of going if there are only five clocks??”
But then I did some research into this André-Charles Boulle dude, and what can I say? I’m completely Boulle-d over. Yes: there are only five clocks. But there were only four Beatles. Only three Musketeers. Only two Ronnies. And no one was walking around saying, “That Four Candles sketch would have been so much better with 20 of them performing.”
That out the way, let’s move on to the man and his timepieces. Boulle was a renowned French cabinetmaker in the time of Louis XIV in France, who appointed him as "ébéniste, ciseleur, doreur du roi" (cabinetmaker, chaser, gilder to the King) in 1672. This title meant he was exempt from the regulations of the artisan guilds at the time – which imposed strict rules on materials and techniques. Whereas other clockmakers were making do with, I dunno, plastic and stainless steel or something, Boulle Boy used materials like turtleshell, brass, ebony and pewter to create elaborate and very OTT designs for his very rich clients.
Even though these clocks were intended more to show off the clients’ wealth and intellect (e.g. many contained allegories and allusions to philosophy and the sciences), they also worked perfectly: only one of them needed to be repaired before the exhibition, 300-odd years after they were created. I don’t know about you, but my IKEA one already has off days, and I’ve only had it since April.
Find out more: https://www.wallacecollection.org/whats-on/exhibitions-displays/keeping-time-clocks-by-boulle/
While you’re there…
👍️ Every winter, Hyde Park gets a Christmas makeover on steroids as Winter Wonderland rolls in with 100+ rides, Europe’s largest portable roller coaster, and a Giant Wheel that’ll give you a 60-metre-high view of London. (There’s also Santaland inside the park, where the rides are more child-friendly.)
Additionally, there’s an ice rink that claims to be the UK’s biggest (temporary, mind you), plus the Magical Ice Kingdom – basically a freezer with fancy sculptures and an ice slide.
There’s also the Bavarian Village for bratwurst, beer, and live oompah bands. It’s open until early January.