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🪐 5 things to do in London this weekend with the kids (21–22 December)

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Jeff – Dads in London
December 18, 2024

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Hey DiLFs!

If, like me, you forgot this weekend was happening because everyone is off school and focused on Christmas, and weekdays and weekends are blending together and no one knows what’s going on… it’s fine: Uncle Jeff is here to help. 

Unfortunately, Uncle Jeff can’t really help if you’re after anything particularly festive: it seems most venues forgot about this weekend too, and they’ve already moved into their post-Christmas scheduling. (One of the Southbank Centre’s shows on offer is a particularly interesting choice for this time of year.)

There are still some Christassy gems listed below, but you’ll find much more of a subject-matter mixture compared to recent weeks. 

Enjoy them all, and see you after the big day! 

Jeff xx

Tom Fletcher’s The Creakers
Saturday and Sunday, 14:00 and 18:00 (and other dates until 5 January)
Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX
£20–£57 depending on date, time and seating
Southbank Centre age guidance: 6+

I didn’t watch I’m a Celebrity, but the fact this guy beat Wagatha Christie feels like  the wrong ending to a classic mystery. Oh. Wrong McFly guy. Regardless, I think we can all agree that Coleen Rooney was robbed. Moving on… 

Tom Fletcher – who didn’t steal anyone’s trophies as far as I know – has written gallons of very well-regarded children’s books, and one of them has now been adapted for the stage. It’s about Lucy, who wakes up to find that all the adults in Whiffington have disappeared. But while all the other kids in town are running wild, Lucy looks under her bed and discovers the Creakers – creatures who’ve spirited away the grown-ups. 

The Creakers is billed as a performance full of surprises, silliness, scares and rocking new songs, and there aren’t many tickets left because EVERYONE wants to see it. Get in quick! 

Winter Solstice Festival
Saturday 21 December, 12:00–18:00
Royal Observatory, Blackheath Avenue (inside Greenwich Park), SE10 8XJ
FREE
DiL age guidance: all ages

Winter Solstice: a time when ancient pagans lit bonfires and modern parents worry their kids might have Seasonal Affective Disorder. 

Instead of bemoaning the shortest day of the year, I suggest we all celebrate it! If you don’t have the energy to trek down to Stonehenge, you can still mark the event by heading to Greenwich Park for the day. 

This festival has live performances, light shows, craft and food markets, live science demos, and the opportunity to ask questions to the astronomers who’ll be out and about (by the General Wolfe statue) to answer them. 

While you’re there… 

👍️ The Royal Observatory’s regular programme of live planetarium shows will be running as normal, so you could try one (or some) of the following:

  • Moons Beyond Counting (14:30): “From the Earth’s closest neighbour in space, our Moon, to the moons of the distant gas giants, this show explores our Solar System’s many natural satellites.” Suitable for 7+ (under-5s won’t be admitted). 

  • Audio Universe: Tour of the Solar System (12:30): “Experience the Solar System like never before – by travelling on a spacecraft that can turn the objects in space into sound!” Suitable for 7+ (under-5s won’t be admitted). 

  • Ted's Space Adventure (11:30): “We’ll explore the Solar System with a bear named Ted (and companion Plant!), learning about the things we find there and how they affect us.” Suitable for 3–7s. 

👍️ Try out the “Guess who?” festive self-guided trail at Queen’s House. “Find the clues located on stockings throughout the House, and see if you can work out who the mystery character is.” If you guess correctly, you can, errr, you can “collect a free sticker from the shop”. Maybe take a couple of lollipops to bolster the prize fund a bit. 

👍️ Visit the Astronomy Photographer of the Year exhibition at the Royal Observatory – an annual competition featuring the world’s greatest space photography. (Avoid scrolling down if you don’t want to find out in advance which photo won.)

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1927: Please Right Back
Saturday, 19:00 and Sunday, 14:30 and 19:00
Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX
£16–£27 depending on date, time and seating
Southbank Centre age guidance: 10+

Oh look: it’s the Southbank Centre again, determined to gatecrash its way into as many of my listings as possible each week. I try to resist, but their events are just too good to ignore – and I know you know this, because you click on them in your droves. Like you will with 1927: Please Right Back. 

If you can get past the grammatically infuriating title – and cover your children’s eyes when the programmes are being handed out – it’s well worth watching. Combining live performances with hand-drawn animated backdrops, it’s about Mr E, who has mysteriously disappeared. The letters he writes to his children tell of wild adventures involving trips to tropical islands and being swallowed by a whale – and it soon becomes obvious to us (but not Mr E’s kids) that he’s probably not doing any of this stuff. Then it’s up to the weird social worker to reveal the full truth. 

This isn’t the most festive show I’ve encountered, but there are only so many white beards and antler props to go around – and you might want a gritty dose of social realism to balance out all the ho-ho-hoing anyway. 

4: Get schooled in how photographic portraits should actually look

ZoĂŤ Law: Legends
Saturday, 10:30–21:00 and Sunday, 10:30–18:00 (and every day until 2 March)
National Portrait Gallery, St Martin's Place, WC2H 0HE
FREE
DiL age guidance: suitable for all 

I took a photo of my son the other day and genuinely believed I’d uncovered a hidden artistic gift in myself. The lighting was perfect, his face wasn’t blurry, and somehow I’d immortalised his very soul. I was just like Annie Leibovitz, but with more raisins in my pocket.

And then I saw some of the photos from ZoĂŤ Law’s Legends exhibition, and my ego swiftly reset itself. I’m officially in awe: I have no idea how she (or other portrait photographers) are able to take a person’s face and do so much with it. 

The exhibition contains photographic portraits of over 100 people from the worlds of art, fashion, business and entertainment. You’ll recognise many of the individuals featured – and you’ll hopefully be as wowed as I am by how she captures them. (If you want a sneak peek, here’s a selection of the photos. The one of George Davies is my favourite.)

While you’re there… 

👍️ There’s a Francis Bacon exhibition at the same gallery (although this one isn’t quite so free, I’m afraid). No, not Francis Bacon the philosopher. No, not the English cricketer. Nor the American football player. Also not the politician, or the judge, or the famous engineer, or the banker. We’re talking Francis Bacon the supervising architect of the Illinois Central Railroad system. 

Except we’re not, of course. We’re talking Francis Bacon the artist, who painted many portraits. I don’t know what his sitters and subjects (some of them very famous) thought of his finished pieces, but I’m pretty sure I’d have felt many emotions if he’d painted me – and none of them would have been nice ones. 

The shoes that made me believe in love at first step (part-advert, part-love story)

Back in 2019, I listened to an interview with the Allbirds cofounders. By the end of it, they’d convinced me that Allbirds shoes would be the most comfortable things I’d ever wear, that I’d never suffer from sweaty feet again, and that I should really start caring about sustainable materials (which, it turns out, are better for tootsies anyway).

So, in a rare moment of impulsivity, I bought a pair of their best-selling Tree Runners. When they arrived, I put them on and – I kid you not – I actually moaned. In comfort. In serenity. Maybe even in love? It was like walking on clouds

And then, because I’m me, I returned them.

Why? Because I’d somehow managed to choose a colour so horrible that it shouldn’t legally be allowed to exist. Thankfully, Allbirds’ customer service folks were an utter joy when I swapped them out for a much safer grey/white pair, which I’ve been happily wearing ever since.

But I’m already planning for the future, and when it’s finally time to replace them (which, let’s be honest, might be a while since these things last forever), I’ve got my eyes on the white Tree Pipers. Not only do they look great on Ben Affleck, but I’m hoping they’ll give me just a tiny fraction of his coolness (minus the complicated love life and that awful back tattoo).

So, why am I going on about Allbirds?

Because these shoes are pretty much perfect. Depending on the style, they’re made from either the wool of happy Kiwi sheep or sustainably sourced tree fibres. Plus, their whole ethical practices thing isn’t just a trendy add-on – it’s built into their company DNA.

The shoes go with everything, they’ve survived five years of my abuse (and counting), they’re machine washable, and – I can’t stress this enough – they’re ridiculously comfortable.

Allbirds doesn’t really do discount codes, but honestly, they don’t need to. They’re pretty reasonably priced, ranging from £70ish to £115ish depending on the style, and you’ll get years out of them. Heads-up: the popular colours tend to sell out fast, so if you see a pair you love, you might want to grab them before someone else does.

So check out the entire Allbirds collection and find your perfect pair before they’re gone. But maybe think twice before impulse-buying a brown-and-yellow (or “poo and wee”) pair like I did. Or don’t – no judgement here.

Christmas activities at Discover Children’s Story Centre
Saturday and Sunday, 10:00–17:00
383–387 High Street, E15 4QZ
From ÂŁ10 per adult/child (1-year-olds ÂŁ5, under-1s free)
Discover Centre age guidance: 0–11 (DiL: 0–8)

This time six months ago, you probably didn’t think to yourself, “I must book those Christmas activities at Discover Children’s Story Centre before they sell out.” Unfortunately, some parents did think that – and now many of the Centre’s Christmassy workshops have no tickets remaining this weekend. 

I know this experience is nothing like those people who put their towels on the sun loungers at 5am, but I assume they look and feel just as smug. (Don’t worry: you’ll get the final laugh when my new “book now for events that are ages away” email starts up next year. HA!)

Thankfully, there are a few things that are still available (at the time of writing), but you’ll need to get in quick if you want to be in with a chance. They are: 

And even if they’re all unavailable by the time you try to book, other activities are available to everyone – no booking required. They are: 

Plus, of course, there are the two floors of Story Worlds and the Story Garden that this place is famous for: immersive, exploratory play spaces “where children and their imaginations can roam”. The Story Worlds and Story Garden are advertised as suitable for 0–11s but I reckon that’s a bit optimistic: more like 0–8s. 

While you’re there… 

👍️ Westfield Stratford is RIGHT THERE for all your last-minute gift-getting. It’ll be mayhem, but you only have yourself to blame for leaving it so late. 

👍️ Even if you’re organised for Christmas, I recommend heading to Westfield for any food you might want before/after the Story Centre. The Centre’s cafe may well be even busier than Westfield, and the meals and snacks on offer aren’t exactly lip-smacking. 

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