🏡 5 things to do in London this weekend with the kids (14–15 September)

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Hey DiLFs, 

THANK YOU if you completed my poll (and wrote such grin-inducing comments) last week. I love the fact that so many readers have made use of my recommendations over the past few months. If you haven’t answered my one-question poll yet, it’s at the bottom of the email.

Is there anything else I’m missing when it comes to Dads in London content? Reply and let me know! 

Have a lovely weekend, 

Jeff xx

PS Quick update on something else I mentioned a while back: I’m still working on creating an extra weekly email about events and activities you should book now, before they sell out. It’ll be a quick, bullet-point list, featuring preview tickets, early-bird discounts and other “must book” items.

It’ll be ready soon, and I’ll let you know when it’s time to opt in if you want to receive it.

1: Attend a “once in a century” Van Gogh exhibition

Van Gogh: Poets and Lovers
Saturday and Sunday, 10:00–16:45 (and every day until 13 October)
National Gallery, Trafalgar Square, WC2N 5DN
Adults £28, under-18s free

Tickets for this weekend are going fast! 

If your offspring is in Year 3 or higher, they’ll have almost certainly been taught about Vincent Van Gogh at school. Curriculum-supporting weekend activities aren’t always (ever?) a popular suggestion, but Van Gogh is different. Because of the ear-carving incident. 

EVERY child is fascinated by the ear-carving incident, and therefore every child will willingly accompany you to the National Gallery’s latest exhibition. There’s nothing more fun than asking “Did he cut off his ear before or after this one?” and “Do you think he was going crazy when he did this one?” whenever you move to look at a different painting. Compare that to someone like Pissarro: “Hmm I wonder if he had the non-career-destroying eye infection while working on this picture.”

The great thing about Van Gogh is that he’s not all ear-stump and no trousers: his art, rather than his precarious mental health state, is the most interesting thing about him. And this exhibition has brought together his best stuff from around the world: Sunflowers (lots of them), Starry Night, Van Gogh’s Chair, A Wheatfield, with Cypresses, and lots more. The National Gallery says it’s a “once-in-a-century” exhibition, and I don’t care if it’s hyperbole or not: it looks incredible and I’m taking my non-kicking-or-screaming kids with me. 

Find out more: https://www.nationalgallery.org.uk/exhibitions/van-gogh-poets-and-lovers 

While you’re there… 

👍️ The National Portrait Gallery around the corner has a new look and a newish exhibition with a new name: the annual Portrait Award is back for 2024, although it’s now called the Herbert Smith Freehills Portrait Award (rather than the BP Portrait Award) due to a change in sponsorship. 

The Portrait Award “showcases the very best in contemporary portrait painting”. Anyone aged 18+ can enter, and this year the judges decided that 50 entries (of 1,647 in total) were worthy of being exhibited. From those 50, the judges chose winners for first, second and third prize, and gave a Young Artist Award to someone so young and talented that I automatically resent them.

2: Watch a funny reworking of a classic fairytale

Little Red Riding Could
Sunday 15 September, 11:00 and 14:00
artsdepot, 5 Nether Street, Tally Ho Corner, N12 0GA
£12 per person

Tickets are going fast!

If you’re a fan of fairytale reworkings like Roald Dahl’s Revolting Rhymes, you might just love Little Red Riding Could. The title, admittedly, could do with some work: it’s a weak pun that didn’t once make me chuckle and repeat to myself, “Little Red Riding Could, ha ha haaaa”. 

But the story itself is a funny reworking of a classic tale – in which LRRH is no longer little, no longer wears a hood, and no longer wants to be referred to by her silly nickname. She’s becoming a teenager, basically, and it’ll be interesting to see where this next chapter in her life takes her. I also like to think my children will enjoy their first edgy production that veers away from the classic fairytale structure they’re expecting. 

If you can’t get all the way to artsdepot, the production company behind Little Red Riding Could will also be performing on Saturday at Lyric Hammersmith Theatre at 11:00 and 13:00. If you live out east or down south, I can’t help. Sorry. 

Find out more: https://www.artsdepot.co.uk/event/little-red-riding-could/ 

While you’re there… 

👍️ N20 Kids Club is a soft-play space less than a mile away. I’ve never been, but the reviews suggest you take the “3 months to 11 years” suggested age range and smash it to smithereens. Six years old seems like the upper limit. 

👍️ Little Tea House is a gem of a place, with spectacular teas and beautiful cakes and pastries (which are all made in-house by the owner). Board games are apparently available; I didn’t see them when I visited, but that might be because my own kids looked too feral to be trusted with a load of Jenga blocks. 

3: Let loose on the dance floor, Bollywood-style

Saturday Sessions with Bollyqueer
Saturday 14 September, 13:00
The Clore Ballroom, Royal Festival Hall, Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX
FREE – no ticket required (just show up on the day) 

I take it back: Little Red Riding Could is a masterpiece of a puntastic title. Or at least it is when compared to the Bollywood dance organisation Bollyqueer – a name that's lazy to the point of catatonia. 

If such things don’t bother you – and, I must emphasise, they really really shouldn’t – this Saturday session at the Southbank Centre looks like delightful fun. Following a quick warmup, you’ll watch a short Bollyqueer performance and then participate in an hour-long workshop. After that, it’s time to let loose with a Bollywood boogie! 

The whole ethos behind Bollyqueer is that you shouldn’t have to sacrifice your identity while dancing Bollywood-style, so you’ll be encouraged to “dance in a way that makes your heart and body feel their happiest”. 

… And I guess all that is kind of more important than the name. (Plus I’ve been wracking my brain for anything better than Bollyqueer, and I have to admit I’m stuck.)

Find out more: https://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/whats-on/saturday-sessions-with-bollyqueer 

While you’re there… 

👍️ Stop by the Southbank Skate Space and watch some of the world’s best and worst skaters fling themselves around concrete banks, ramps and ledges. Try to stop yourself from making remarks like, “Gosh, his mother must be terrified watching him,” and “What’s the point of graffiti anyway? It just looks so messy.”

👍️ The children’s play area at Jubilee Gardens is one of the most original and exciting in London. There’s a slide, a climbing wall, ladders, ramps, wobbly boats and bridges, a toddlers’ playhouse, a big net construction thing, a walk-the-plank swing log, and so much more.

👍️ The Southbank Centre Food Market is held on Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays and bank holidays, and it’s where you’ll find food from Ethiopia, Thailand, Venezuela and more. The market has its own Instagram account because of course it does, and it’s where you can look at some delicious-looking meals in advance. 

4: Drop in at someone else’s home 

Open House Festival
Saturday and Sunday (and various other days up to 22 September)
Various locations around London
FREE (but some locations need to be booked)

YES! It’s the annual Open House Festival – in which we can snoop around other people’s homes without training to become a meter inspector first. 

They’re not all homes-homes: there are libraries, museums and open spaces available to view too. But the most exciting buildings are the weird and wonderful ones that people actually live in. 

The festivals runs from 14 to 22 September, but houses are only “open” on certain days – so you’ll need to look at individual listings to find out which are available this weekend. Most are “drop in” (meaning you can go at any time on the day), some require that you book in advance (especially if there’s a tour involved) and a few (like 10 Downing Street and the BT Tower) are for ballot winners only. 

My favourites for this weekend include: 

• Wimbledon House (Saturday): new residential home

• Jubilee Line Extension Treasure Hunt (Saturday): to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the extension, the treasure hunt “will allow visitors to explore and discover these stations with new eyes, looking for clues about their use and learning their history”. 

• Trinity Buoy Wharf/Container City (Saturday and Sunday, with multiple activities throughout each day): I don’t have the words to describe this, but it looks fascinating and you should check out the photos and description. 

• Rufford Mews Apartment (Saturday and Sunday): beautiful and cleverly designed furniture and cabinetry in a flat that’s totally unremarkable from the outside. 

• Brockley House (Sunday): renovated mid-century house whose design “draws inspiration from cakes, American diners, and digital art”. 

• Woodside Loft (Sunday): an incredible loft conversion that’s “part living room, part multi-function space, part chill-out den, part guest quarters”. 

• Walter Segal Self-build Houses (Sunday): a close of 13 self-built houses, each one unique. 

Find out more: https://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/whats-on/saturday-sessions-with-bollyqueer

5: Feast on all the rice and peas (and other food) you can handle

Black Eats Fest
Saturday and Sunday, 12:00–16:00 (family session)
The Fireworks Factory, 11 No. 1 Street, SE18 6HD
Adults £13.20, children £8.80, under-3s free

British GQ Magazine says you’ll “find the best rice and peas in London” at the Black Eats Fest, which strikes me as not the most relevant endorsement – but the organisers liked it enough to feature it on their website, so what do I know. 

Here’s all the stuff I do know about the festival: 

Culinary delights from Africa, the Caribbean & beyond! A Havana Club cocktail bar! An art gallery curated by Black Curatorial! A dessert shop! A retail marketplace! Live DJs! A beauty area! A bookshop! More cocktails! Natural juice bars! Free face painting for kids! A balloon artist handing out free balloons (to kids)! Lots more! 

It’s all being held in the Fireworks Factory at Woolwich Works – a GORGEOUS space with exposed brick walls, asymmetric glass roof, and a beautiful adjoining courtyard. Tbh it’s worth going just to check out the venue. 

Find out more: https://www.woolwich.works/events/black-eats-fest-september-2024 

While you’re there… 

👍️The Royal Arsenal has been around since the late 1600s, as the place where armaments and ammunition were manufactured for the British Armed Forces. These days, however, it’s all green open spaces, creative places, and restaurants, cafes and bars.